Two of my kids are home with the flu.
Stupid cancer has crept into some of my favorite families’ lives.
Medical messes are tangling up even more of my friends.
A heavy, sad anniversary just passed for a neighbor.
Don’t even get me started on the world beyond what I see or the constant battle waging on cable tv.
Boooooo.
God, I’m mad and sad and confused. Do you hear me?
In a very mature move, I hop onto Instagram hoping to scroll my way into distracted avoidance.
Instead, I see a post that says “CHOOSE JOY JUST BECAUSE.”
Dang it Morgan Harper Nichols and your gorgeous artwork and intentional words. Here’s a link to her work on Instagram.
The timing and simplicity of her post spoke directly to my grinchy, questioning heart.
I’ve lived enough life to know this being a human deal isn’t easy. Life can feel like a roller coaster, can’t it? And I’ve learned some bonus lessons through the mayhem of Joseph’s illness and my own medical chaos.
One thing I know is I can get angry at God. I have been angry at him. I’ve slung my frustration and disappointment and hurt at God with some ummm pointed language… and with tears.
But God wants a relationship with me, with you. Knowing God, believing in Him isn’t just a ritual or a weekly habit to check off the list. And just like in any relationship, I can’t just sling words at God and not wait for a response. I wouldn’t do that to you and you wouldn’t do that to me.
I see the Choose Joy just because; And I go outside to breathe in the crisp air.
I close my eyes to soak up the vitamin D offered freely by the sun.
I plug in the Christmas lights on the tree and on the banister and on the mantle.
I light a few candles.
I open my bible.
And, one of the scriptures from the Jesus Calling reading today is 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” I mean…
My heart still hurts for the hurt around me but I’m making room for Joy because God hears me and answers me in artistic, meaningful ways in the most unexpected places and always in His word.
I pray that if you are feeling grumpy, alone, neglected that you would tell God and then look, listen, wait.
how the light gets in 