Author Archives: How the Light Gets In

• Catch

  Posted at 9:21 am by How the Light Gets In, on May 7, 2021

  CATCH – listen here

  According to http://www.dictionary.com the word “Catch” means to intercept and hold.

  Why “catch”? Look, sometimes a word or idea gets stuck in my head. And, I pray on it. Then, if I pay attention long enough and I start getting posts about it on my Instagram feed, personal text messages, songs and nature; then yes I go with it. So here we are.

  Thanks for being here with me. 

  Catch – to intercept and hold. Here are a couple examples I’ve observed of catch in action:

  •For Easter, the littles got a WOWMAZING Giant Bubble Wand Kit. You mix their special soap packet with water in a bucket. Then you dip the wands in, slowly pull it up and out. And yes, it is everything you would expect Wowmazing to mean. The problem was we ran out of the soap mixture. Luckily for us, we have a Joseph. That kids’ brain is always churning. He came up with a soppy mixture of (get this) molasses, Dawn soap, a little corn starch and water. It was nasty looking. But, it’s Joseph so you trust him. Watching him dip the wands into the homemade mix and then pull it up and out was magic. There were bubbles! Huge bubbles!  We watched the wonky blobs catch the light; intercepting it and holding it in wild shapes, sending off magical glimpses of color.

  •A few months ago, we had a tree taken down in our backyard. The problem with the tree was it was so dead that they had to cut it at the bottom and then pull down into the forest. When the big old tree came crashing down it took out maybe three younger trees. It also created a little clearing in the woods. We thought it would be cool to clean it out and see if we could grow something there. It’s only 7 feet across by maybe 10 feet in length. Anyways, we pulled up roots and turned the dirt. We bought a packet of seeds that promises a meadow. And we sprinkled the hay and seed mix all over our hopeful little patch of newly exposed dirt. After just a couple weeks of careful watering, we saw sprouts! Here is where catch comes in – Tiny bits of green pushing up through dirt and hay intercept the afternoon sun, holding its warmth and using it’s power to grow.

  

  If you’ve been here before, you know this is going to circle back to light and Jesus. So, here we go. I just wonder – if a DIY soapy mess can catch light, transforming into a brand new orbs of color or if a seed can use dirt and water to push on with an instinct to catch the sun in order to grow – doesn’t it make you wonder what can happen to you when you catch the light of Jesus?

  The verse that’s keeps showing up with persistence is from 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” I know. Demolish and captive and obedient – It’s all very high and mighty, religious-y language. But let’s intercept these words and hold them long enough to learn what they could mean. What needs to be taken captive here? “Arguments and every pretension” that block us from knowing God. Those thoughts of fear and shame and worry and anger and resentment build a wall between us and God. But let’s not limit this scripture to a directive. There’s more. It reveals God’s heart. God knows your heart. And He wants you to know His heart. 

  Let’s play catch. 

  We’re going to read some more Scripture. Let the words intercept you where you are and hold them for a bit.

  “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ‘I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity.’”

  Jeremiah 29:13-14

  What caught you on this one? There’s a promise or two in this verse from Jeremiah. “I will be found by you.” God is on stand by waiting for you. And when you seek Him, you will find HIm. Oh, but don’t miss the condition: You will find me WHEN you seek me with all your heart. Are you all in? God wants it all. Don’t just kinda sorta pray; get after it with all your heart.

  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever.”

  Hebrews 13:8

  God is God is God – always has been and always will be. I don’t know about you but this feels like such a relief. The world is constantly dividing itself against itself. And, thanks to the killer combo of our information superhighway and cable news; we can hear all about it 24/7. While the world upends itself, God remains unshakeable, immovable, right beside you.

  “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver.”

  Malachi 3:3

  Eeeesh. Refining and purifying are things that involve a lot of fire and a lot of change. If you feel like you’re in a furnace of change; hold onto the promise here. “He will sit.” God, again, is close. He’s not turning His back or getting up and moving on. God is next to you, watching to make sure you withstand the fire and come out gold.

  “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those who hearts are fully committed to Him.”

  2 Chronicles 16:9

  This was written more than 2,400 years ago. God has been and always will be searching for fully committed hearts so he can strengthen them.

  Loaded with promises and stability, fully committed and waiting close by is your God.

  I pray you will let Him intercept the worry that jolts your eyes wide open at 2 a.m. with To-Do lists and worst case scenarios. Let God intercept the anxiety that thumps through you so fiercely you swear the person next to you can see your actual heart moving. Let God intercept the panic that grabs hold of your airway so tight you gasp for air even though you opened all the windows and the sunroof.

  I pray you will allow Him to hold you.

  God wants you free, strong, never alone, all in.

  Did you catch that?

  Posted in May 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 2 Chronicles 16:9, Catch, Hebrews 13:8, How the Light Gets In, Jeremiah 29:13-14, Malachi 3:3, wow

• Now What

  Posted at 11:06 am by How the Light Gets In, on April 20, 2021

  Now What?

  I asked you to consider sitting in the suffering with me. I dared myself and you to not look away but to look at Jesus and the cross. You did it.

  So, now what… This is the best part!

  This is the best part of knowing Jesus and letting Him know you. This is the best part of understanding that while this world will mean suffering; there’s more because of Jesus.

  Now, it’s time to stand. The suffering of the cross is not the end of the story. The end is that we live.

  Because of Jesus, we live. Easter was not just Jesus dying on the cross but also His busting open the gates of heaven.

  Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, blood, whipping, humiliation AND because of His leaving a tomb empty, going to hell and then sitting next to God the Father in Heaven – because of Jesus we live.

  So, now what?

  Now, we start living the life we were meant to with purpose, through a promise.

  You did it. You were brave enough to look at the cross, to see Jesus suffering. You were brave enough to sit long with your own suffering. It was dark and heavy. That’s enough now. It’s time, you brave and beautiful person.

  Get up.

  Stand.

  Stand, knowing you are worthy.

  Stand, knowing you are loved.

  Stand up.

  If you know me, then you know right now I am standing and my arms are louder than my words because this “now what” part is THE BEST part, all because of Jesus.

  Because of Jesus; death isn’t the end of the story.

  Now what?

  Now there’s hoping.

  Now there’s rising.

  Now there’s living.

  You have purpose you spectacular human being. The way God made you, this world He’s put you in, the pain you’ve been through, may be going through and will go through; He sees the potential for you to rise and live and hope.

  ANTICIPATING so hard your calves are sore, LOOKING so hard your eyebrows are high up on your forehead, EXPECTING so much your heart is pumping hard in your chest – that’s what Jesus has done for me.

  If the only God you’ve seen is through parts of my story here on this babbling blog, Praise God. But there’s more for YOU.

  There’s still more for me too. I think I forgot! You know what looking at the cross did for me? It jogged my memory back through so many pain points AND through more miracles than I can count. I hope you didn’t get stuck on the pain points. It’s time to stand.

  After Jesus died, his disciples were alone and scared. Jesus could have stayed up in beautiful, cozy Heaven but He came back. Can we just recognize that? Let it sink in? He came back. John 20:19 sets the scene; “The disciples were gathered together with the doors locked because they feared the Jews. Jesus came and STOOD among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.'” Sometimes, suffering can lock our hearts in fear. If that feels true for you, read that story again.

  Let the message be clear, there is a God old and powerful enough to part waters for His people, creative and beautiful enough to push crocuses up through winter’s frozen dirt, loving enough to constantly be on the search for open hearts so He can pull them in close under the shelter of His wing, bold enough to send His one and only Son after you – YOU. Are you clapping yet? It is ridiculously beautiful and generous and true.

  To keep us pushing through, I am stealing and paraphrasing this paragraph from Priscilla Shirer’s “Elijah” Bible study (p157).

  Stand up.

  Lord, I present myself to you. Here I am Lord. I want to walk in step to the rhythm of Your Grace. I want to lean on and depend on the empowerment of Your Spirit. I’m looking for you Lord. Show me how you want me to adjust my life so I can honor you. I pray Your Spirit would consume me. Give strength to my calves and eyebrows and hands as I live in the anticipation and expectation and hope of Jesus. Amen

  Before you hit play on this one, turn up volume okay? Let it shock you. Let the words bring you to your feet in gratitude and joy – THIS is life with Jesus.

  Posted in APRIL 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Elijah, How the Light Gets In, I Thank God, Jesus, John 20:19-21, Maverick City Music, Now What, priscilla shirer

• Don’t Look Away

  Posted at 8:20 am by How the Light Gets In, on March 30, 2021

  

  Catch – How The Light Gets In

  Every now and then a word gets stuck. If I sit with it long enough and it lingers. I follow through and ask God to stick with me. This time, that word is Catch.

  1. Catch 08:47
  2. Now What? 05:44
  3. Don't Look Away 09:58
  4. Chasing 07:43
  5. What If 05:37

  I’m feeling yucky about something I said. During small group this past week, a question like, “What do you think about the cross, that Jesus bore our sin?” came up as part of our discussion time. No hesitation, I answered, “Shame. I’d look away.”

  There was no awkward silence from my friends but just a gentle push for more on that reaction.

  Actually, looking at the cross is not something I like to do.

  The cross is violent, messy, bloody, dark. It makes me feel bad and I want to look away. I would rather focus on walking, talking, healing Jesus.

  But, the cross is exactly where our focus is because we are in Holy Week. We started with Palm Sunday, coming up there’s Holy Thursday, Good Friday and finally, Easter.

  This week, all eyes are on the cross.

  Except mine. Except mine? I’m trying.

  During the reading of Mark 14:1-15:47 on Palm Sunday, my 8year old Lily was listening intently and asked “why did Jesus let Judas betray him? He could have stopped him. Why did those people get mad when the lady put oil on Jesus? It was her jar. Why did they spit on him? Why did they take his clothes? Wait, they nailed him? They put nails through him?”

  I answered her questions and watched her little face take it all in. Lily was looking at the cross, not looking away.

  Her courage to keep sitting there made me turn to my bible to find Luke’s telling of Jesus’ way to the cross (he’s a little more matter of fact than Mark). My She Reads Truth bible has small devotionals throughout each book offering a deeper dive into the stories.

  And, this is one of those moments that I believe is more than just a coincidence.

  

  The devotional’s invitation in the gospel of Luke says, “Don’t Look Away.” Can’t make it up.

  So, here we are folks.

  I’ve been praying for the big courage of a little Lily to linger at the cross and to look. So, here’s what I’m finding and I’m inviting you to look with me.

  Let’s go first to a verse we should have memorized by now-

  “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

  Matthew 11:30

  Jesus is proving something powerful and hope-giving through the cross. Suffering can also be how the light gets in.

  Suffering.

  Jesus carries our burden as the most powerful light even through a violent, bloody mess. He suffers for me. He dies for you.

  Light, being called to it, being called to carry it is not only limited to beautiful things like reflecting and shining.

  

  Those are important. But for this week, especially this week; don’t look away from the idea of suffering as a way for the light to get in.

  Because maybe it’s your suffering you can’t look at right now. Maybe you’re drinking, scrolling, video-gaming, exercising, working to avoid facing the hurt.

  Let’s look to the cross together and learn a lesson about suffering together.

  Here’s the thing. Jesus had a choice. As both God and man, He had a choice to avoid the cross all together. Right? He could have said, God let’s do this another way. But In Luke 22:42 Jesus prays, “Father, take this cup from me. Not my will but yours be done.” Jesus chooses to pray. He is on his knees, knowing the stripping, lashing, spitting, nailing, bleeding ahead of Him; and offers his anguish for God’s will.

  Jesus, the Son of God, was not exempt from suffering. He is why we do this. Jesus is my why. This look to the cross keeps me from reducing Jesus to some soft, romanticized glow-y god. He was broken down and shut out by this world and He persisted. He came for you. He came for me. This is Holy Suffering and I don’t want to miss it.

  A thought that has stuck with me is from an interview when Jay Stringer said something like; we want to skip to the part where God saves the day. And the problem is we end up missing the gift of endurance modeled by Jesus. The gift of endurance. Let’s not miss that this time.

  We Catholics mark out this week with very special and significant rituals on Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Did we skip from Friday to Sunday? I always remember the Saturday before Easter as being quiet and sort of awkward. Jesus is dead. The world feels dark. Nothing but waiting on the egg hunting, Ham eating celebration of Easter Sunday.

  There’s a lesson in the quiet waiting of Saturday I don’t want us to miss this Holy Week. If you’re suffering, the added waiting can feel like torture. I know this torturous stillness first hand.

  So, let’s look at it differently together. We can’t skip the suffering and just celebrate the Resurrection. The suffering is built into the story. Not only that, it’s key to the story. Jesus modeled the endurance in a way my heart has a hard time grasping. And, God allowed it, saw it, redeemed it. We don’t have a soft God. We have a God who can endure the worst pain, suffer separation and loss, go through literal hell and make it back. All so the light of heaven can be ours.

  These next days leading up to Easter; let’s promise to not spend them planning place settings or googling how to make it the best Easter Covid-style. Instead, click on either of these (Matthew 26-28, Mark 14-15:47, Luke 22-23:56, John 17-19:42) to sit at the cross and spend some time with Jesus. Wonder with Him what it felt like to be in the garden, what it was like to know the friend who would betray you was sitting at your table, what it was like to carry a cross of heavy wood on your raw and bloodied back, what it was like to hang there separated from the humans gawking below you and the God above who felt so far away. Questions are okay. God can handle them. In fact, God asks Adam (as in first human ever, hiding in shame because he messed up Adam), “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9)

  Where are you in your suffering? Where are you in the waiting? Where are you looking?

  Are you asking or God? Maybe this week take time to ask and listen and give God time to do the same with you.

  Jesus, the light of the world (John 8:12), is a healing, comforting, inviting light. And, it is His suffering that shows me the chasing, persisting, surrendering, bleeding, always loving, dying and rising light of Jesus.

  I love that my Jesus can mix spit and dirt, rub that glop on a blind man’s eyes, and make him see. I love that my Jesus made friends with anyone and everyone. I love that my Jesus told good stories. I love that my Jesus can break through the gates of hell like a badass.

  This week, letting the lesson of Holy Suffering sink in; I’m looking to my Jesus who would willingly collapse on a cross made of wood and be nailed to it for me.

  Want to pray with me? God in Heaven, Nothing happens without passing through your beautiful hands. I can’t reconcile the hurt I see & feel here with your goodness. I want to trust. I want to hope – not just when it’s easy. Thank you for the gift of Jesus and His Holy Suffering. Allowing your Son to come here to save us, to save me is too much to take in sometimes. Give me the humility and persistence to accept the gift of endurance so I can really celebrate the promise of Easter. Give me the courage to ask questions, listen for answers, pray for your will God, see Jesus and not look away.

  Posted in March 2021, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Burden is Light, Church of the Nativity, Don't Look Away, Genesis 3:9, Holy Week, HOPE, How the Light Gets In, Jay Stringer, Jesus, John 8:12, Luke 22:42, Mark 14:1-15:47, Matthew 11:30, Resurrection, She Reads Truth, Suffering, Your Will Be DOne

• Chasing

  Posted at 6:19 pm by How the Light Gets In, on March 21, 2021

  

  Catch – How The Light Gets In

  Every now and then a word gets stuck. If I sit with it long enough and it lingers. I follow through and ask God to stick with me. This time, that word is Catch.

  1. Catch 08:47
  2. Now What? 05:44
  3. Don't Look Away 09:58
  4. Chasing 07:43
  5. What If 05:37

  For months, it’s worked.

  I lean my phone on the same window ledge in the corner of the living room to capture a time lapse of the sun rising. For months, it’s been a no fail set up. Until it failed.

  Thursday skies poured nothing but gray, cold, heavy drops of water all day long. Friday came in with a forecast promising blue skies and eye squinting sunshine.

  So Friday morning, I set up the phone, I hit the red button for time-lapse and off I go.

  While the sun was filling up the living room, I went to sneak a peek only to find the phone was capturing zero sunrise. The phone angle was just where it had always been but the sunrise had moved by a lot! I shifted the phone towards the sun’s new spot and hit record again.

  As I was walking away, it occurred to me that the whole set up, the looking around, the repositioning; was me chasing the light. And this chasing, reminds me of what we talked about last time. Do you remember?

  In Matthew 11:30 Jesus says, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I’m still wondering what if Jesus was saying my burden is more than just not heavy but my burden is light. And, it seemed to strike a nerve with you too from the comments and voicemails you left and conversations we had.

  Aside from the fact those ways the light gets in reflect who Jesus was (stunning, igniting, reaching, etc), grammatically they reveal what He is… livING. Because, if you’re dead or just a character in a story, you aren’t -ING anything. Jesus is so much more than a character in a story. Jesus is so much more than a character in my story.

  Recently, I was invited to be a guest on a podcast. The interview jogged my memory for a walk through my faith story and who Jesus was and is in my life. Church was certainly part of it. But, it was my mom who introduced me to God in a way that went beyond going to church and reciting prayers. The way she talked about God made Him a very real and present friend, like she was pulling Him in to come and shake my hand.

  Thinking back to my childhood then funky middle school years and my not so cool high school years; I remembered so many God moments. God was there through the braces and the awful bangs and the friends I still have today from way back when.

  Flipping through my bible now and seeing all the grafitti of underlining and dates and circled words and questions; I see me and God in an ongoing conversation.

  That’s when it hits me. That’s when I remember this lovely piece about looking for God. Each and every time I’ve gone chasing after Him, I find He’s already chasing after me.

  All along.

  The God who makes the sun rise, who aligned all the right people at just the right time to get me where I belong, who put a rainbow in the sky as a promise so long ago; He has been chasing after me all along.

  “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord.”

  Jeremiah 29:13-14

  He’s chasing after you too, the Bible tells me so 🙂

  Look at the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis Chapters 37-50. Joseph’s life did not go as planned. He suffered.He went through broken relationships, betrayal, imprisonment. His life shows how a good God and suffering can exist. And, I think a huge part of that is because while Joseph was busy chasing after God; God was busy chasing Joseph. And if you zoom out and look at Joseph’s brothers and his dad and the prison guard you’ll see how God was waiting and hoping on all of them too, not just Joseph. It took Joseph’s life to bring others to a life with God. His story, my story, your story show God’s favor looks different than human favoritism. So, if you’re hurting right now in some way, don’t you think for one second that because you are down, God is gone.

  “The Lord was with Joseph.” Genesis 39:2, 21, 23

  “Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

  “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.” Psalm 139:7-8

  Dang it. He does not quit.

  I’m doing a bible study now on Elijah with a circle of sweet friends. Priscilla Shirer, the author of the study, points out Elijah and Jonah’s stories for comparison. Elijah was in constant communication with God with a life full of obedience in action. And God was with him. It wasn’t easy but Elijah didn’t quit God. Jonah, on the other hand, hears that God wants him to go to Nineveh. Jonah said “nah” and ran away. As the story goes, he ended up in the belly of a whale. According to the Storybook Bible (which is one of my favorites) this is what happens next:

  

  After three days, the fish spat Jonah safely onto a sandy beach. Just then, Jonah heard someone calling his name. “Go to Nineveh,” God said. And this time? Jonah said, YES!” He went straight to Nineveh and told everyone God’s wonderful message. ‘Even though you’ve run far from God, he can’t stop loving you,’ Jonah told them. ‘Run to him!”

  There it is. Run to Him.

  Maybe chasing isn’t your speed but can I encourage you to start turning towards Him? A simple invitation right now with eyes wide open and your heart too; “Come Lord Jesus” (Revelation 22:20) is all you need.

  Right now, try shifting your view, re-positioning your heart and you’ll find a big, powerful, creative, promise-keeping, good God is chasing you.

  He has been all along.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

• What if

  Posted at 1:03 pm by How the Light Gets In, on March 11, 2021

  If you’d rather listen, click here for What If

  How the light gets in is the name of this podcast and my blog but what we do here is so much more than taking in pretty sunrises and silver-lining type ideas. You know that though.

  Do you remember how we went looking for light back in November? If you don’t, go to the blog (it’s not super organized, sorry) but, there you’ll find a bunch of words ending in -ing.

  Those words represent a random idea that sort of hatched in the fall of 2020 – when the country was throbbing with growing racial tension, divisive politics and of course Covid. And, as if the world couldn’t feel dark enough; the actual amount of sunlight was going to be cut short starting November first. 

  Where I live, we set the clocks back an hour in the Fall for Daylight Saving Time.

  Watching the news, setting the clocks back and losing an hour of sun was just the push I needed to find the list.

  Then, we began what I thought would be a month long exploration of that list. As it would turn out, writing out all those verbs was a good exercise for my mind to be aware of all the ways I could think of. But on November First, when I started the self- assigned work, I quickly realized the words, the ways, the verses, the images, the memories would be put on my heart one light filled day at a time.

  Do I believe God put this assignment on my heart? Yes. Just stick with me.

  We took it one day at a time starting with the word Honoring on November 1. The next day was Signaling, then Revealing, Reminding, Reflecting, Changing, Surrounding, Healing, Filtering, Spreading, Unveiling… For each word, I would look for a picture to go with it and a scripture or share a lesson I’d learned.

  It didn’t take long for me to realize this work and the words were all leading to what I’ve come to learn about Jesus.

  I know you know I love Jesus but I promise this wasn’t supposed to be about anything other than looking for light.

  But it ended up being about so much more. And I think the work is beyond me, that it is for you too.

  It’s been a few months now since we wrapped it up. And, I’m feeling another tug. Maybe it’s because we’re about the change the clocks again. This time we will “Spring Forward” and set the clocks ahead an hour. While we are losing an hour of sleep, we are gaining more light. 

  In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus said, “My yoke is easy and my burden light.” 

  I’ve always thought Jesus was saying “my yoke is easy and my burden isn’t that heavy.” 

  But now, I’m wondering WHAT IF, what if Jesus is saying, “My yoke is easy and my burden is LIGHT.”  Reflecting, healing, honoring, nourishing, reaching, growing, comforting, unassuming, beckoning LIGHT.

  To me, Jesus is all those things. And after exploring all the ways the light gets in, I’m wondering what if He was saying “my burden is light.” It is hard, heavy, intentional work trying to reflect, hoping to honor, reaching out to comfort others.

  Jesus is light.

  Your burden is light- when you think about it; It feels like a great privilege and a great burden.

  According to the Farmers Almanac, the general idea behind Daylight Saving Time is that it allows us all to make better use of natural daylight. 

  So, how will YOU let the light in?

  There are so many different ways: Delighting, Leading, Challenging, Reaching, Igniting. The list on my messy blog is just the beginning. Jesus shows us.

  Your burden is light.

  Literally.

  Light is not easy. It can be heavy lifting these days. 

  In our world, at this time, where darkness is so heavy; what if you can look to Jesus and see how your burden is light?

  Posted in March 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Beckoning, Burden is Light, Challenging, Changing, Comforting, Delighting, Distinguishing, Filtering, growing, healing, Holding Space, HONORING, How the Light Gets In, Igniting, introducing, Jesus, leading, Matthew 11:30, Nourishing, Reaching, Reflecting, reminding, Revealing, Reviving, Shining, signaling, Spreading, Stunning, surrounding, Unassuming, Unveiling

• Unwrap a gift with me

  Posted at 10:50 am by How the Light Gets In, on March 4, 2021

  

  Catch – How The Light Gets In

  Every now and then a word gets stuck. If I sit with it long enough and it lingers. I follow through and ask God to stick with me. This time, that word is Catch.

  1. Catch 08:47
  2. Now What? 05:44
  3. Don't Look Away 09:58
  4. Chasing 07:43
  5. What If 05:37

  Time and Distance lovingly offered me a present. It feels too special and beautiful and too big for just me. So, would you unwrap it with me?

  There were more than a thousand days in 2016 through 2019. Looking back through journals, it feels as if each one of them was blotched with dark, angry pain. Plus, I was bitter. There was a lot of shame and hurt on one very specific area of my body; spanning my hips, left to right, from my waist to my knees. And that very specific area was exactly where every doctor and nurse and specialist wanted to put their focus. It felt cruel that an area of my body that I wanted to avoid, that I had spent my life avoiding, was now the exact place I would be scanned, injected, cut through and pondered over. It’s as if the universe was taking my face in it’s hands and directing it at my pelvis in what felt like a staring contest. The body always keeps score, right? That staring contest took 3 years, 5 surgeries, 13 scars, lots of meds and a bunch of metal coils in my side wall (which is part of the pelvis). My body was up by 1.

  I was seeing three specialists during this time; Dr. Steven Adashek (surgeon) and Dr. Sam DuFlo (Physiotherapist) and Jamie (Therapist). At the time, I couldn’t see it. But looking back now, I see how each of these spectacular humans was vital to my healing. Dr. Adashek offered me the anatomical explanation and cutting through things like my nerve entrapment and scar tissue. Dr. Sam DuFlo gently pushed and pressed on my stomach stretching the physiological and metaphorical anger inside, teaching me the gifts of stretching and breathing to care for my body. Jamie listens and coaches my heart towards the courage it needs to go places I didn’t want to go before. They were and still are my “Dream Team.”

  Looking back, with just enough distance I can see God was doing a thing. He was setting the stage for healing.

  While the process was in motion, I was hoping He was going to take the pain away.

  But this is God we’re talking about.

  God was working with me through Dr. Adashek, Dr. Sam and Jamie to do more than just take the pain away. God was working to restore, redeem and repair. Have you heard the phrase “abundantly more”? THIS is how God operates, in an EXTRA sort of way.

  What are you battling, hiding, avoiding, white-knuckling? Can you step out of it just for a moment? Can you hit pause and breathe? Will you allow Time and Distance to present you with their gifts? If you journal, take some time to flip back and take note of the people and situations and “coincidences” along the way. If you have a billion photos, take some time to scroll through the past year and see what memories stop you.

  I may not be on anyone’s dream team but whether you like it or not, I’m your cheerleader. I’ve got a megaphone and a big story and loud voice to tell you this: God has assembled a Dream Team for you. God is working on the details to teach you, equip you and encourage you to full healing beyond what you’re hoping for. I don’t know what it looks like, who’s involved or when it will happen but

  GOD

  IS

  WORKING

  FOR

  YOU.

  Keep your eyes open, ears alert, heart ready.

  GOD

  IS

  WORKING

  FOR

  YOU.

  Posted in March 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Brene Brown, God, healing, How the Light Gets In, Indigo Physio, Miracle, Pain, surgery, Therapy

• As you go

  Posted at 8:17 am by How the Light Gets In, on January 30, 2021

  I’ve read and heard Bible stories my whole life.  And still, every now and then a detail pulls me with an invitation to look again.

  Today, the invitation comes from the story of Jesus healing the Lepers in the Gospel of Luke.

  It goes like this:

  A group of 10 men with leprosy call out to Jesus as he was coming close.

  “Master heal us.”

  He answered,

  “Go present yourself to the priest.”

  They went.

  Super simple: They Ask, He Answers, They Go.

  It’s verse 14 that is pulling at me though.

  “As they went, they were cleansed.”

  Recap: They ask for healing, Jesus says go to the priests and they start walking. Do you think they walked away in grateful confidence that, YES, it would be the priests who would cure them – “Of course, why didn’t we think of the priests? Let’s go!” 

  But, the priests wouldn’t be the ones to clean their infections, restore their wounds or give them the wholeness they needed. 

  “As they WENT, they were cleansed.”

  I wonder what the Lepers heard “as they went” through town – screams of fear from onlookers, angry threats from neighbors? I don’t know but I do know they kept going.

  Back then, people with leprosy had to wear bells around their necks. The clanging would warn others of their presence giving them time to get out of the way.

  I wonder about the people hearing the bells. Would the ones who usually stared from behind a curtain peek out just in time to see? Would they stare long enough to witness the miracle of 10 grotesque, outcast, hurting lepers HEALING “as they went”?!?

  The bell around your neck; it might be old shame, might be doubt, could be regret, even anger. The clanging will be loud as you take your first step. I know this to be true for me but keep going. And, what other people do as you respond to Jesus – whether they slowly disappear or make their disapproval loud or laugh in judgment – is up to them. You keep going.

  It’s super simple, right? You Ask, He Answers, You Go.

  It’s just both; simple and not so simple.

  Maybe you’re too afraid to ask by yourself. [There were ten lepers in the same kind of pain and they asked together.] Then, get yourself a circle of people and ask! Maybe that’s your first request: “Jesus, I need a circle of people who know me, love me, hear the bells clinking and clanging around my neck and push me to keep going.”

  Maybe you have a hunch what direction you need to be heading in that relationship, that job, that decision; but the bells are too much: “Jesus, you know my heart. And I think I know the way to go but the fear/doubt/criticism/worry/shame/regret is so loud. Help my feet to keep going.”

  Ask. Listen. Expect the bells and the outside noise. Keep going.

  Now, off you go.

  Posted in JANUARY 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged bells, healing, How the Light Gets In, Keep Going, Lepers, Luke 17:11-19

• my response

  Posted at 2:31 pm by How the Light Gets In, on January 8, 2021

  Fight or Flight: two basic responses to stress.

  Which did you choose January 6th?

  To be honest, I don’t usually choose to fight or run away. I freeze. Very mature. I’m working on me though.

  I woke up feeling like I don’t want to fight, don’t want to flee, don’t want to be stuck either. I do feel the need to face “it”. [For the record, I’m not going into the “it” because “it” is different for all of us.] There’s a rumbling for vulnerability in this country. And we need to address it, one by one, for the good of the whole.

  Our country is a mess. I believe there’s a calling out there for you and me right now. We don’t need a new leader to fix it. You, me, we can all be leaders in our families, our circles for change. I need you. You need me. WE need to work side by side, extending Grace to each other while we respond to the call.

  So, how do we do it?

  Rather than fighting or running away or freezing:

  1. FACE it.

  Are you angry, hurt, sad? With the Church? Racism? Trump? Biden? Covid-19? the mask? White people? Karens? Fox News? CNN? God? WHO? WHY?

  Ask God to untangle the mess inside. “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

  While you’ve got God working in there, ask Him to show you all the gifts you have too (you’ll be needing those).

  2. SIT with it.

  Push past the anger to the real feeling: Is it fear? Fear of the Unknown? Do you feel exposed? Uncertain? Vulnerable? Guilty? Dumb? Territorial? Wrong? Shameful?

  SIT WITH IT.

  Isaiah 30:15 says, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” There is strength to be found in stillness.

  While you’re sitting with all the things; invite Jesus in please.

  “Come Lord Jesus” – you say the word and He will be there beside you.

  To have the powerful companionship of God – your God who knows tears and injustice and isolation and hurt- while sitting with all of the stuff makes all the difference. Inviting a holy presence into the process will transform you. Promise.

  3. NAME it.

  

  There are three strategies that I’ve seen work to transform always knowing into always learning.

  1. Name the issue. It’s a tough conversation, but clear is kind: I’d like for you to work on your curiosity and critical thinking skills. You’re often quick with answers, which can be helpful, but not as helpful as having the right questions, which is how you’ll grow as a leader. We can work together on this.

  Knowers often have a lot of people talking behind their backs, and that’s unkind.

  2. Make learning “curiosity skills” a priority. Some people may be perceived as naturally curious, and others need to be taught how to be more curious. Don’t assume people aren’t curious because they don’t care. They may not know how to be curious.

  3. Acknowledge and reward great questions and instances of “I don’t know, but I’d like to find out” as daring  leadership  behaviors. The  big  shift  here is from wanting to “be right” to wanting to “get it right.”

  We define grounded confidence as curiosity + the willingness to rumble with vulnerability + practice. While armor is our greatest barrier to being brave, grounded confidence is the heart of daring leadership.

  *Adapted from Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (2018)

  Look. You, me, we BELONG here right now. God put us here today and so we will be equipped for the work ahead.

  I, for one (while slightly terrified) am also excited to think that if I do the work well, I can bring some change to this world. What fills me even more hope is the idea that you are here at the same time! And if we do the work well TOGETHER – WOW!

  Let’s be terrified and excited TOGETHER! WE are here for a purpose. You are meant to be here. Don’t throw your story away in anger or violence or stereotypes, we are worth much more than that.

  Come Lord Jesus.

  Sit beside us in our fear and anger until we can acknowledge what’s in our hearts. Jesus, you promised to be with us in the storm. And this, Lord, is a shit storm. Beyond the promise, you are inviting us to “the other side” of the storm. I pray we say yes to the invitation.

  Help us embrace the love and patience and wisdom and humility and goodness and mercy and grace you’ve woven into each one of us. I pray we learn to accept our faults and to receive our gifts. Thank you for my brothers and sisters who are as messed up as I am and want better.

  Fix our eyes on you Jesus. Amen.

  Posted in JANUARY 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged always learning, Biden, Brene Brown, Clear is kind, Fight or Flight, How the Light Gets In, Isaiah 30:15, Jesus, leader, Psalm 139:23-24, Racism, Revelation 22:20, Trump, Yoda

• Jesus

  Posted at 1:20 pm by How the Light Gets In, on January 3, 2021

  All the Christmas decorations here are packed away (actually, maybe they’re piled in a corner of the basement).

  The house looks so bare. There’s no more glitter or garlands.

  Today, in our faith, we celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany. It marks the end of Christmas and the revelation of Jesus to the Three Kings.

  Watching mass online in our “bare” house got me thinking about Mary and Joseph.

  What was it like for them to watch other people meet their baby? They knew who they were raising. They knew who their baby was. I wonder what it was like for them to witness how others received him, better yet to watch how others RECOGNIZED Jesus.

  The Star – Were Mary and Joseph aware of the unusual bright light announcing the Light of the world?

  The Shepherds – They had no status or wealth or place in their world but found themselves at the right place because they listened. We always focus on the fact Jesus was announced to shepherds in a field, that their nature (being outcast and unloved) reveals Jesus heart. But, we need to also remember Jesus was announced by a host of Angels, singing in the heavens, breaking through the dark of night; revealing Jesus power.

  The Three Kings – Men of wealth and status; traveling from Persia, following maps and calculations leading them to a star, bearing gifts to meet the King of Kings. When they arrived, they knelt before the baby. Mary-who had been pondering all these details in her heart- was her heart bursting at this point? She had said yes to bearing the shame of gossip about her pregnancy. And now Kings on bended knee, were bowing in vindication of her obedience and revelation. Did Joseph stand there in shocked gratitude?

  Now that Christmas is all wrapped up, The Epiphany begs us to look to Jesus.

  So, would you take a moment for some quiet & look to Jesus?

  

  Posted in JANUARY 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Angels, Christmas, Epiphany, How the Light Gets In, Isaiah 60:1-5, Jesus, Joseph, Light, Mary, Shepherds, We Three Kings

• Day 28: Introducing

  Posted at 9:01 am by How the Light Gets In, on November 28, 2020

  I feel ready now. You should too. For 27 days, we’ve been looking for how the light gets in. Our hearts and minds and eyes and ears have all been in training for the next step. And it starts tomorrow.

  Advent means “the arrival of a notable person, thing or event.” In other words, Advent is INTRODUCING the light.

  INTRODUCING

  Jesus.

  All along, the sunbursts, sunsets, candle glows, light switches; the way we looked for them and found them or they found us and were dependable and beautiful and magical and powerful and small and overwhelmingly huge – it was always leading us to Jesus.

  Advent is about honoring the God made man, King born as a baby. Advent tells us about the star in the night sky signaling to 3 wise men where to find the King of Kings. And when they followed it, they found their way through the dark and doubt to a manger revealing Jesus. Their story alone about following their heart and ancient writings reminding us that faith is more than a tradition but action too. Advent is a time for reflecting on how you’ve seen light these past few weeks and to keep that going. It takes 21 days to make a habit, we just went beyond that together. So, if you need to see more than a changing in your patterns, if you need a transformation; you can start now. This is the time of year to remember those words, “God so loved YOU that He sent His only Son.” It wasn’t enough that God would be an Old Testament tale, He sent Jesus for us. And he promises us to go ahead of us, surrounding us in our pasts, present and futures. We are human beings and life offers many ways to break us, doesn’t it? Those stories in the Gospels of Jesus healing hurt and broken people are true. He didn’t stop there. I am living testimony to that. He isn’t done. Jesus is the Peace filtering through the noise of the world with truth. The story of Jesus goes beyond the pages of an old book, spreading love for all. Cable networks pack on layer upon layer of lies, wrapped in their own spin. We are living in a culture determined to spread misinformation and cancel anything and everything. Why not use this season to turn the tv off for a bit and read through the story of Jesus? Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all offer their own perspective. Allow the details and differences to be an unveiling of the connection He wants with you. Through this month, together we’ve seen God’s word distinguishing, challenging and nourishing our hearts. To think that the same God who pushed up mountains and knows every star by name didn’t arrive in a robe, surrounded by lights, wielding a scepter but would come to save us through an unassuming baby… I mean. It’s that kind of gentle power I want leading my life. Do you remember my “banana butt” story? Our God is so old and powerful and real and here that He sees every detail of your life and mine, delighting in them to dazzle us. Jesus is God’s way of reaching us on this Earth. Jesus was both human and God. He came to give us an example of how to live. It is our holy obligation to keep shining His truth and light for ALL to see and feel welcome. You are made in God’s image. Therefore, if He is light, you are light. Do you know that? Do you own that? That should make you stand taller knowing you bear the image of a beautiful, spectacular God. So, image-bearer, use this time to read and hear more of God’s word for you, about you, over you. It’s time for your heart to start thumping with the reviving knowledge of who your God is. If this time of year is heavy for you, a friendship with Jesus might be just the comforting you need. Jesus is a master of holding space for you; only stepping in when you want, asking good questions and praying for you all the while. There is a calling for you to come closer. Jesus, the Light of the world, is beckoning for your heart. Can you hear Him? If it feels stunning, sit with it. Take a deep breath and let it all sink in, igniting the fire you were born to share. My gosh.

  Allow me to introduce Jesus.

  Blessing, Teaching, Listening, Loving, Defeating, Healing, Inspiring, LIVING

  Jesus.

  Posted in November 2020, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Advent, Beckoning, Challenging, Changing, Comforting, Delighting, Distinguishing, Filtering, healing, Holding Space, HONORING, How the Light Gets In, Igniting, introducing, Jesus, leading, Light, Nourishing, Reaching, Reflecting, reminding, Revealing, Reviving, Shining, signaling, Spreading, Stunning, surrounding, Unassuming, Unveiling