how the light gets in

Author Archives: How the Light Gets In

• Mixed Bag Christmas

  Posted at 11:37 am by How the Light Gets In, on December 25, 2022

  There’s a lump in my throat this Christmas.

  Not sure if I want to cry or smile. (I began listing all my reasons here but they’re mine to hold and release.) Here’s an example: the traditional Christmas “monkey bread” was on the table before the kids came down to open gifts and THAT made me mad and tear up… This woman is triggered. It’s just that I’m ALWAYS rushed to make it because they’re ALWAYS down here way too early to open gifts and I’m fighting them back. Not this year. Is that what it is? The always are always changing.

  I have been trying to swallow the whatever it is stuck in my throat. But, I’m realizing Christmas is a BOTH/AND kind of season. Know what I mean? 

  I’m trying something different. This year, I’m not forcing the sad away by wrapping it in big bows or hushing it with loud carols or decorating it into oblivion. 

  Instead, I’m asking myself “why” & waiting gently for the answer… 

  And the answers, big and small, come in waves.

  Some reasons I have control over, some I don’t. And that’s ok.

  Either way, I’m here for it all and I’m grateful.

  On Winter Solstice, I read a quote saying something like you can’t rush the night but you can light candles. And, I double-tapped, even shared the words. 

  But, at this moment, the peak of this season of Wait & Wonder; I’m reminded of how the 3 Kings didn’t rush the night after night of their journey to find Jesus.  

  More of the BOTH/AND here…

  They followed BOTH their calculations based on ancient prophecies AND the stars in the sky to guide their way. 

  I guess what I’m trying to say is if you’re feeling both sad and merry; it’s ok.

  There is still light to be found. 

  If you find yourself unable to “light the candles,” then look to the stars. 

  God placed them in the sky, knows them by name to call out yours. 

  A both powerful and tender declaration like “The Lord had His heart set on you and chose you.” from Deuteronomy 7:7 comforts my mixed bag heart.

  God is a BOTH/AND kind of God. He BOTH knows the hurt on your heart AND wants to comfort you, through candles or stars (or both).

  Again, there is light to be found.

  If you find yourself unable to “light the candles,” then look to the stars.

  Merry Christmas.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged BOTH/AND, Candle, Christmas, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, Stars

• Buy the Oranges

  Posted at 7:35 am by How the Light Gets In, on November 23, 2022

  You can listen here if you choose https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/ed4BqpIWbvb

  A week or so ago, I did a thing.

  “I did a thing” seems to be a low key, no big deal way of announcing something big. So, naturally, you are expecting a huge accomplishment or announcement.

  Here it is: I made a dried orange garland. Tada! But, this is a big deal because of how small a deal it is.

  The “Dried Orange Garland” is that idea that you pin on Pinterest and save on Instagram or back in the day, rip out of a Martha Stewart magazine AND NEVER TRIED… until this year.

  For a week now, every time I walk into the kitchen and see my finished project; I smile for reasons big and small.

  So, I’m sharing the project with you in a very intentional, step by step kind of way. And, I want you to go buy the oranges now so we can enjoy this together.

  The garland is small enough to bring big impact for you. I believe it.

  To get started, you’ll need oranges, a sharp knife (a steak knife will do), a cutting board, parchment paper, a baking sheet, an oven and a spool of thread with a needle.

  How many oranges do you need? You could truly just use two or go for as many as 6.

  Prepare your space. We need quiet for this project – no playlists or podcasts or carols. Turn the knob on the oven to 200. We’ll need the slow heat just to warm the slices enough until the moisture evaporates. This slow cooking part alone with take several hours.

  Now that the oven is heating, grab one or two baking sheets. I found that a sheet holds slices of 3 oranges. Tear off a sheet of parchment for your baking sheet. At such a low and slow pace, juices from the orange turn bubbly and sticky. And the parchment paper is magic about allowing food to come right off the sheet without losing a bit of it.

  The fact that we use parchment paper here feels special. I don’t know about you but I don’t use it often and I only use it around the holidays. Holding the box of parchment in my hand signals something special is in the works. This crinkly paper is usually key to a conveyor belt of Christmas cookies – cut outs, thumbprints, gingerbreads. There are no jars of sprinkles no tubes of icing, no tin shapes. Not this time. There is no hurry here. Take a deep breath. Relax your shoulders.

  You don’t have to worry about spacing perfectly, this is not a demanding project.

  While this isn’t demanding, it is very giving. And that’s why we’re here now talking through a DIY orange garland. I hope this feels like a gift to you. The process, more than the end product, has felt like a gift to me.

  The baking sheets are lined with parchment and the oven is warm. It’s time for the oranges.

  Slice off the ends to leave as much of the orange as you can. Put the ends aside and let’s begin. This is not a technical how to on your DIY, so all I can say is slice your oranges so they’re thin but not skinny. Makes sense, right? An actual craft person might tell you “slightly less than 1/4 inch thick.”

  Are you by light at all? If the sun is coming in anywhere near your countertop, focus on the orange as you slice to catch the zest. That little word comes to life in full meaning. Do you feel the little spritz? Sprinkles of enthusiasm and energy spray as you cut through the deepest orange of the orange. My goodness it smells good. In a season and part of the world where most things are dying off, it feels so strange and defiant to smell the fresh, bright scent of an orange.

  

  Place your slices on the parchment lined sheet and just be careful not to crowd.

  Look at them. The gradient of color is beautiful: Deepest orange, bands of white and yellows.

  Slide them in the oven. Now set your timer for two hours. That’s when you’ll flip each slice one by one. Then set the timer again for anther two hours. While you wait, go find a spool of thread and a needle.

  When was the last time you threaded a needle? Pull the trays out of the oven when the timer sounds. You’ll know the slices are ready when they’re tacky but not crispy and a brownish tinge touches them.

  This part will take time. Come in through the back of the slice, just under the rind, then stretch across a teeny bit and poke out through the back again.

  For right now, allow the pile to dictate your product. Release the need to arrange according to size and color. Let that go. Just keep picking up an orange, thread it onto your string until you’re done.

  As you hang your garland across the window, take in the transformation. The once heavy globes of sweet juice are now circles of citrus stained glass dancing to catch the light. They’ve changed. They’re different. They’re beautiful. You did it.

  I feel slower. How about you? I think that’s why I’m sharing this now, this way. If you can put two feet on the ground (sitting or standing) and gather a few oranges to then cook off slowly, if you can hear the crinkle of parchment paper and let it signal the start of something new, if you can catch the zest in the sunlight, if you can linger at the open oven door long enough to allow the warmth to kiss your face – well then you’ve done it. You’ve taken a moment to ground yourself in the midst of the holidays. There’s so much this time of year. Give yourself the gift of slow and quiet, two feet on the ground and a little zest in your heart.

  Go buy the oranges.

  November skies are full of hellos and goodbyes… Whether geese are leaving your skies or arriving for the winter; I hope this little project greets you with an embrace.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Dried Orange Garland, Grounding, How the Light Gets In, November, project, slow and simple, Transformation

• Healing Notes

  Posted at 12:53 pm by How the Light Gets In, on November 8, 2022

  Three years ago, I was deciding between two options: Pain or Paralysis.

  Which one would you choose?

  Option 1 meant debilitating pain, lots of meds, laying on the couch in the fetal position trying not to take too deep a breath because you don’t want to wake up the pain monster inside, and filling your calendar with one doctor/therapy/acupuncture appointment after another.

  Option 2 meant surgeons going into your abdomen to pull out 8 tiny metal coils left behind from a previous surgery. You should know this surgery had a 97% chance of paralyzing your left leg.

  So, which one would you choose?

  I didn’t go with either of those.

  Instead, 3 years ago today, I walked away from those options and walked into a room at church.

  Opening the door, I was greeted with equal parts sunlight and hope. 

  Lavish and Crazy. Three years later, I stand by those words with a whole bunch of awe and gratitude and “what the heck” mixed in.

  I experienced a miracle – a full, miraculous healing.

  It doesn’t make sense to me either. To be honest, it feels uneven in this wonky world to have been healed when I see and love so many others that I want healed.

  Still, the past 365 days of living, breathing, walking, loving, cooking, driving, celebrating, listening, crying, lighting candles, singing, watching, grieving, yelling, praying, laughing, cleaning, traveling, hiking, sleeping, waking up, hugging, writing, learning, cheering, consoling, baking have felt like a lavish and crazy, what the heck kind of gift.

  We’ve learned a lot together over the years, haven’t we? We’ve learned about waiting and trusting and hope.

  I wonder what your healing looks like. Have you brought it to Jesus yet?

  One thing I’ve learned about hope and healing this year is to live IN expectation, not with expectation.

  My own expectations with my own timetable and my limited vision have held me back.

  Living IN the promise of God, believing He works in the abundantly more kind of way pushes me out in the wild wind of hope, up on my tippy toes, searching the horizon.

  In Mark 5:34, Jesus says, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

  In Luke 7:50, He says, “Your faith has saved you.  Go in peace.”

  Then, in Luke 17:19 “Rise and go, your faith has made you well.”  

  And again, in Mark 10:52 “Go, your faith has healed you.”

  In each of these stories; Jesus has just healed someone and then told them to go and live life because their faith had healed them.  

  The back stories are all different.  The woman in the Gospel of Mark suffered from bleeding for a dozen years.  In the Gospel of Luke, a known adulteress barges into a dinner hoping for a blank slate from Jesus.  Later in Mark, we hear of a blind beggar seeking sight.  And in Luke, the group of lepers asking for healing.  

  The approach in each situation is vastly different.  The hemorrhagic woman quietly touches the edge of Jesus cloak.  The blind beggar screams out repeatedly in front of everyone.  The adulteress walks right into a house full of her biggest critics.  And the lepers, a big ol’ group of them, approach Jesus as one. 

  How would you approach Jesus for healing?  

  Why would you approach Jesus for healing?  

  Why don’t you approach Jesus for healing?  

  RUN OFF TO MEET JESUS. TELL HIM THE PROBLEM. ASK HIM WHY HE DIDN’T COME SOONER, WHY HE ALLOWED THAT AWFUL THING TO HAPPEN. AND THEN BE PREPARED FOR A SURPRISING RESPONSE. I CAN’T PREDICT WHAT THE RESPONSE WILL BE, FOR THE VERY GOOD REASON THAT IT IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS A SURPRISE. BUT I DO KNOW THE SHAPE IT WILL TAKE. JESUS WILL MEET YOUR PROBLEM WITH SOME NEW PART OF GOD’S FUTURE THAT CAN AND WILL BURST INTO YOUR PRESENT TIME, INTO THE MESS AND GRIEF, WITH GOOD NEWS, WITH HOPE, WITH NEW POSSIBILITIES. – N.T. WRIGHT

  Happy Anniversary to all of us.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Church of the Nativity, healing, HOPE, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, Miracle, NT Wright, Pain, stories

• Spiritual Coaching Lesson #1

  Posted at 6:12 pm by How the Light Gets In, on May 16, 2022

  Spiritual Coaching Lesson #1

  Did I tell you I started my dream job? Spiritual Coaching: I didn’t even know it was a thing until I had heard about it on an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, The Next Right Thing Episode 167 with Emily P Freeman.

  I get to do something called Spiritual Coaching.

  Literally combine two of my favorite words to form my actual dream job.

  Have you heard of it before? In a spiritual coaching session, you and I would sit, isolating ourselves from the outside world to talk and listen and listen some more. I’m not a therapist diagnosing. As a coach, my job is listening and encouraging. Together, we are working to connect your struggle to your story to God.

  In an effort to be the best Spiritual Coach, I have been reading pages and pages of books with words like trauma, healing, polyvagal, neurological pathways, the mind-body-heart connection, habits, etc. I’m listening to all the podcasts, taking all the notes. I’m trying to absorb all the knowledge and terminology in order to be the best Spiritual Coach I can.

  Philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” Hearing a philosopher say something like that makes me want to read more, to push past the limits of my world and help others do the same.

  One of the beautiful things about coaching is so much of our work is to help people find language for their stories, to put words to their experience.

  Researcher and author Brené Brown writes in her new book, “Language is a portal to universes of new choices and second chances.” She even goes on to say that portal is within ourselves!

  And yet…

  With all her knowledge and research, she stops short. She still doesn’t quite access the portal. And, to be clear, she has actually limited herself by not recognizing Jesus, the Word at the beginning, Jesus, the Word with God, Jesus, the Word through which all things were created, Jesus the Word made flesh to live among us, die for us and break through the gates of hell for us.

  Jesus IS the portal to universes of new choices and second chances AND He is written on my heart and yours. 

  And that’s when it hit me. While expanding my vocabulary (which is great), I have been making my well-intentioned, growing knowledge louder than the Word of God. This is not good for me as a Spiritual Coach or as an Andrea.

  This world is loud and it is constant. Let’s learn this lesson together, ok?

  I am encouraging me and encouraging you to make time for The Word – to read it and learn God’s voice so you can recognize it among all the noise. Tune the tracker of your heart into what He has just for you. Now, more than ever it’s important to be clear on who is calling you, to be clear on who you’re following.

  John 10:27 says, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” I know the imagery and comparison to sheep rubs people the wrong way. But watch and pay attention to this short video. What do you notice?

  As you learn to recognize the voice of God (which is a life long journey), let it begin with The Word.

  Are you feeling like you need a rewrite of your story? Read John 21

  Are you feeling invisible? Let Jesus call your name in John 20:16

  Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant hardship in your life? Read Luke 22:31 and be encouraged on who is praying for you.

  Are you feeling like you are locked in a hurtful cycle because “that’s how it’s always been in your family?” Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 to understand how the Holy Spirit has the power to renew and break through generational patterns of unhealthy and destructive behaviors, to understand how you were created in power for power, so use it well.

  Are you feeling stuck? Make Colossians 1:9-14 your prayer.

  “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

  He was in the beginning with God.

  All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men and women.

  And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. “ John 1:1-5

  That’s our Jesus – “the discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)

  Isn’t it pure and powerful to consider Jesus as the limitless language for the greatest story of all time? And isn’t it magnificent to consider Him as the limitless language and already part-of-you portal for second chances in your own story?

  Sitting still enough to get quiet can feel scary. I get that.

  If you and I were in a Spiritual Coaching session right now, and you had just unloaded something from your heart; do you know what we would do next?

  We would be quiet together. Maybe take a few breaths. And then listen together.

  We wouldn’t be listening for my newly learned lingo. We would be listening for what the God of the universe might want to whisper for you in the holiness of that quiet moment.

  As you venture towards connecting your struggle to your story to God; make space for The Word.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Breath, Brene Brown, Colossians 1:9-14, Hebrews 4:12, How the Light Gets In, Invisible, Jesus, John 10:27, John 1:1-5, John 20:16, John 21, Listen, Luke 22:31, Portal, Rewrite, Spiritual Coaching, Stuck, The Word

• Pursuing Beauty

  Posted at 4:55 pm by How the Light Gets In, on March 18, 2022

  Well shit. I’m coming out of the rubble, still not quite standing, still wiping the dust from my eyes but I want you with me. You always let me be messy.

  Covid messed up the manufacturing and distribution of the hormone replacement pills I’m on. While that might not sound like a big deal to you (which is fair since it didn’t seem like that big a deal to me either) – let me tell you, it is a big deal. I didn’t have the prescription for 5 days. My body went into a weird disconnected, fog-like state. When I finally got back on them, it sent my blood pressure on a nasty rollercoaster ride. When it dipped, I had no energy and felt dizzy. When my blood pressure started climbing, it gripped the right side of my chest and made it hard to breathe. The rollercoaster sent my body into panic mode, where quite literally, I just went from one panic attack to another. I kept opening and closing my hands trying to stretch out the tightness in my fingers.

  Instead of asking for help, I started feeling shame.

  Here’s what I’m learning (again). Shame is shit. Trauma is a jerk. And I was getting attacked by both.

  My body has experienced trauma in many ways over my lifetime. And the poor thing was freaking out on me. My doctor prescribed some fluid pills to bring down the swelling and some Xanax to bring down the panic level. My therapist worked through some tapping exercises with me to remind me where I’ve been and where I am now, reconnecting my body, mind & heart. Both have been helpful, but you know where the real change has come in? Pursuing Beauty. I don’t mean it as an assignment to where I must pursue beauty to see where the light gets in. Nope, not this time.

  Pursuing Beauty...

  by which I mean, Beauty pursuing me. And, I’m letting it find me. I’m letting Beauty pursue me and find me. And it is making all the difference.

  Curt Thompson is a psychiatrist who devotes his work to providing the “framework for understanding science and spirituality.” In one of his recent podcasts, he said, “Beauty is coming to find you. It’s not a coincidence. It’s coming to find you.” And that, “We need to recognize that Beauty is always hovering.” And since, “trauma shatters the lens through which we see our lives;” it can be hard to see Beauty. So, his challenge is to “put yourself in the path of beauty.” I took notes on that episode and listened several times. Turns out, when trauma breaks you; it breaks your ability to see beauty.

  When the idea of looking for beauty came up again during a work call; I knew I needed to pay attention.

  This morning, walking back from taking the trash cans to the edge of the driveway, I notice this.

  

  Disregard my socks and Birks and notice the bit of Beauty pursuing me in my literal path.

  Don’t dismiss this little green plant. Notice how she’s growing defiantly up through a crack in the tar and asphalt. She is resilient. She is stretching. She is alive. She is making it.

  To “put myself in the path of Beauty,” I knelt down and took a closer picture.

  

  Pursuing Beauty looks like the tiniest of details on this little cluster of leaves and the perfect dew drops on her. Isn’t she beautiful?

  

  I’m pushing beyond the broken to find the Beauty already pursuing me.

  Nature has been around a long time carrying the weight of beauty and wisdom. So, we should be paying attention. Nature extends non-verbal communication that there is a God.(“The Songs of Jesus” p32 Tim Keller) Creation reveals God’s artistry. God’s first offering to you and me is in coral sunrises and towering green trees and crashing deep blue ocean waves and looming, ice capped mountains. “Their words aren’t heard, their voices aren’t recorded, But their silence fills the earth. Unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.” (Psalm 19:3-4 MSG) That tiny plant pushing through asphalt offered me unspoken truth this morning. Life may have broken me more than a couple times, but Pursuing Beauty is after me.

  Jesus is after you too.

  I pray you pay attention. I pray you put yourself in the path of Beauty. Jesus tells us, “My Father is still working, and I am working also.” (John 5:17) He’s not sitting around on a cloud or in a book. Jesus is after you, throwing colors and scents and hugs, maybe some Xanax, blossoms and defiant buds in your path. Let’s pray for each other to keep our eyes open for the Pursuing Beauty coming for us. You might be broken but there is beauty to be found.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged Beauty, Broken, Curt Thompson, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, John 5:17, Nature, Psalm 19, Shame, Timothy Keller

• What is your Song?

  Posted at 9:01 am by How the Light Gets In, on December 16, 2021

  What Is Your Song?

  Right this moment, where is your attention? Are you focused on checking off a gift list or preparing a holiday menu? Maybe you’re just pushing through to the end of exams or the work day. Wherever your gaze is, I’d like to hold your attention for a few moments on Jesus’ mother, Mary.

  Because I’m afraid if you look past Mary, you will miss a beautiful gift this Christmas.

  Let’s go straight to the stable the night Jesus was born. God is taking on human form and the first person He sees is Mary – his little eyes blinking open, adjusting to the light, taking in the darkness of her hair, the way her eyebrows frame her face. Jesus, God in human form, breathes in his first smells and it’s the scent of his momma that fills him. It’s her voice that will be the first sound our Savior hears as she says his name over and over – Jesus, Jesus. It’s her neck he’ll snuggle and her hold he’ll crave. When Emmanuel God with us, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty Warrior gets hungry; he’ll reach for her. 

  She is blessed among women. But to be “blessed” includes Mary watching her Son be hated, hunted down and hung on a cross. Mary shows us to be blessed is a BOTH/AND situation. A blessing can feel wonderful and heavy. It can look painful and be full of joy. She shows us how to embrace it all – carrying scripture in her thoughts and treasuring it all in her heart, giving glory to God as she takes it one day at a time.

  “Blessed art thou among women.” Mary was and is greatly esteemed for her very important “Yes.” Her legacy teaches us how about the power of partnering with God. Her legacy shows us a position of gratitude shifts the ground we walk on.

  Mary quietly shows us that holding scripture in our hearts intimately weaves the stories we’re living out with those who have gone before us and the God who is with us.

  These words are known as “Mary’s Song” she said this to her cousin Elizabeth:

  My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me – holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.”

  Luke 1:46-56

  Mary’s song is powerful and eloquent and sweet. The backstory here is that Mary was using some of Hannah’s song from the Old Testament in her very own song. Listen to a piece of Hannah’s:

  My heart rejoices in the Lord;
      in the Lord my horn is lifted high.
  My mouth boasts over my enemies,
      for I delight in your deliverance.

  ² “There is no one holy like the Lord;
      there is no one besides you;
      there is no Rock like our God.

  1 Samuel 2:1-2

  You’ve heard Mary’s song. You’ve heard Hannah’s song. But I wonder what Beth’s song sounds like? Meredith what are your lyrics? Melanie, Isabella, Keyne, Annette, Katherine, Madeline, Kathy, Taylor, Allie, Patty, Kate, Angela, Elsa, Erin, Lauren, Lucy, Rachel, Brittany, Angie, Nicka, Kristin, Becky, Lily, Avery, Diane, Amy, Janis, Mallory, Anoush, Renee, Colleen, Kellie, Josie, Mia, Robyn, Christa, Leah, Anna, Hadley, Ann Stuart, Paige, Riley, Leanna, Arezu, Juliet, Jasmin, Emili, Zareen, Barb, Audrey, Susan, Carrie, Jenna, Dana, Kim, Leslie, Tristen, Jessie, Laura, Grace, Kay, Jill, Peggy, Carin, Anita, Marissa, Courtney, Dawn, Criste, Jodi, Silvia, Shawn, Lori, Stacey, McKenzie-

  SING YOUR SONG!

  Shout for joy, daughter Zion! Sing joyfully, Israel! 

  Be glad and exult with all your heart, daughter Jerusalem!

  The LORD has removed the judgment against you, 

  he has turned away your enemies. 

  The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst, 

  you have no further misfortune to fear.

  On that day, it shall be said to Jerusalem: 

  Do not fear, Zion, do not be discouraged. 

  The LORD, your God, is in your midst, a mighty savior, 

  who will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love, 

  who will sing joyfully because of you.

  Zephaniah 3:14-17

  Because of you, God is singing.

  Why are you singing this Christmas? Are you singing at all? Are you aware of what God has done for you? Can you feel Jesus making a new way in your life somewhere? Borrow some of the these phrases if you need to but take a little time to hear and understand Mary’s song. Then, discover your treasures, recognize your burdens, feel the weight of your blessedness and SING.

  Posted in DECEMBER 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 1 Samuel 2:1-2, Advent, Blessed, Christmas, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, Luke 1:45-56, Mary, Mary's Song, Song, Zephaniah 3:14-17

• Stacking Stones

  Posted at 12:29 pm by How the Light Gets In, on November 8, 2021

  Stacking Stones Podcast Episode

  Two years ago this very day, I walked away from surgical options and walked into a room at church. That room was flooded with equal parts sunlight and hope.

  Two years ago, at this time I was laying it all down at your feet Jesus. I walked in hoping for a miracle and walked out with so much more.

  So, do you know what we’re doing today?

  On this 2 year Anniversary of my HEALING, we are stacking stones.

  That’s right. Oh, that’s not how you celebrate? Maybe you should start. Because in my experience, in order to appreciate a gift, you have to acknowledge the pain. Stacking Stones is a practical way to do both.

  Nobody teaches this better than Joshua. So, before you head out to find some rocks. I want you to hear this story. Pay attention to the details. Remember the details.

  For some context, we are picking up after the crazy miracle of God splitting the Jordan River so the Israelites could cross on dry land. Again, huge miracle in and of itself. But let’s get to the lesson and pick up the story in Chapter 4, appropriately called:

  The Memorial Stones

  4 After the entire nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord spoke to Joshua: ² “Choose twelve men from the people, one man for each tribe,³ and command them: Take twelve stones from this place in the middle of the Jordan where the priests are standing, carry them with you, and set them down at the place where you spend the night.”

  ⁴ So Joshua summoned the twelve men he had selected from the Israelites, one man for each tribe, ⁵ and said to them, “Go across to the ark of the Lord your God in the middle of the Jordan. Each of you lift a stone onto his shoulder, one for each of the Israelite tribes, ⁶ so that this will be a sign among you. SO THAT THIS WILL BE A SIGN AMONG YOU In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ ⁷ you should tell them, ‘The water of the Jordan was cut off in front of the ark of the Lord’s covenant. When it crossed the Jordan, the Jordan’s water was cut off.’ Therefore these stones will always be a memorial for the Israelites.”

  ⁸ The Israelites did just as Joshua had commanded them. The twelve men took stones from the middle of the Jordan, one for each of the Israelite tribes, just as the Lord had told Joshua. They carried them to the camp and set them down there. ⁹ Joshua also set up twelve stones in the middle of the Jordan where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant were standing. The stones are still there today. The priests carrying the ark continued standing in the middle of the Jordan until everything was completed that the Lord had commanded Joshua to tell the people, in keeping with all that Moses had commanded Joshua. The people hurried across, and after everyone had finished crossing, the priests with the ark of the Lord crossed in the sight of the people.”

  That’s a lot. I know. We’re focusing on God’s request to set up some stones.

  

  Those Israelites were so freaked out they hurried right through their miracle. I would have too, totally. But God gave them another gift (that’s just His way). He knew they’d rush through so God gave the priests and Joshua a command to stand; giving them a chance to watch all of them pass by, making eye contact with so many faithful followers and encouraging them to keep going while they held the ark.

  Do you remember where Joshua set up his own stack of stones? Right in the middle, like a secret just for him and God to remember together.

  Imagine Joshua looking for those rocks and piling them right there in the middle of his obedience. He should be drowning but God made a way. I bet with each stone he’s thinking of the names of the people they lost along the way. Because even on the way to a miracle, there will be loss and there will be things you need to grieve. And you must. I’m sorry but you must grieve the sad and the hard. Take the time to fully understand and name the hurt.

  “We don’t remember the past great works of God so that we can live in a dreamland of the past, thinking that the best days of our Christian experience are behind us.  We remember them as a point of faith, so we can trust God for greater and greater works in the future, because we have seen and experienced His past faithfulness.” If you just watched the video of me, you need to move right on out of dreamland and recognize the living, powerful, right next to you God that is capable of greater and greater works.

  Two years ago, I walked away from pain and possible paralysis and I am walking in power. It’s not just for me. It’s for you too. Remember who you are, to whom you belong, remember the plan is good, not easy but it is good and full of hope. Remember, God doesn’t work according to this world’s economy of shortages. He works in the Abundantly More kinda way. Get out of your head. God wants to make a new way.

  C.S. Lewis wrote “Most people don’t need to be taught, they need only to be reminded.” Stacking stones is a beautiful way to remember that Eternity is written on your heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11). The Spirit of the Lord is on you because the Lord has anointed you (Isaiah 61). You were chosen before creation (Ephesians 1).

  You just need to be reminded.

  This is me reminding you.

  If I were to stack Memorial Stones right now, it would look like a heap of pain pills, medical bills, cards of sympathy and encouragement, scriptures, time-lapse videos of sunrises, white boards in hospitals with my nurses names on them, a stack of journals, a bunch of blog posts and a lot of you. Those help me remember my pain. They help me say thank you.

  

  If I were to stack some stones for November 8, 2021, celebrating two years of healing; it would look like hiking trails, picking out which torpedo or slam ball to lift, white boards with crazy workouts written on them, standing at soccer games, deep breathing, no more pills, plenty more journals scribbled with scripture and questions and gratitude, Jesus showing up in all the beautiful ways and a lot of you. It all helps me remember my pain, be blown away by my health and helps me say thank you even louder.

  

  Today, would you go out and find 3 or 4 rocks? Look, if you need to go to the craft store and get the smooth ones; that is all good. Spend some time stacking stones. You can choose to make each rock represent someone in your family and make a pile praying for them. You can lay out that big hope on your heart and let each rock be part of the prayer. Display your Memorial Stones. Let your friends and family ask you questions. “Let them be a sign among you.” and “When others ask, what do these stones mean to you? You should tell them.”

  Stacking Stones is a powerful way of letting the light in.

  Stacking Stones playlist

  Posted in NOVEMBER 2021, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged healing, How the Light Gets In, Joshua 4, Miracle, Stacking Stones

• Crepe Paper Thoughts

  Posted at 1:04 pm by How the Light Gets In, on November 2, 2021

  

  Buy the Oranges – How The Light Gets In

  Whether geese are leaving your skies or arriving for the winter, I hope this little project greets you with an embrace this holiday season. Now, go buy the oranges.

  1. Buy the Oranges 08:23
  2. Healing Notes 06:00
  3. Spiritual Coaching Lesson #1 08:08
  4. Grounding: Practicing Presence in your Present 09:00
  5. What is your Song? 07:02

  “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.”

  -Proverbs 25:2

  I heard this verse for the first time yesterday. And, for the past 24 hours, it’s been unfolding and aha-ing in my head. And you should know by now, that when I need to process, well, it happens here with you.

  “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of Kings.”

  Right away, these words unlocked a memory on my heart from Joseph’s birthday just a few weeks ago.

  

  Of all my children, Joseph is the creative. He thinks outside the box and invites us all in. So, for his birthday, I couldn’t just hand him a wrapped package. Rather, I grabbed a roll of crepe paper and some tape. Starting just underneath the table, I wound the paper very carefully up over a chair, around the lamp, behind the tv, under the couch and so on. This $2 roll of flimsy paper unfurled into a messy matrix of celebration. Along certain points, I left a small card or gift to encourage him to keep going, like the bird Lily painted for him from a smooth stone. The only rule was that Joseph couldn’t break the paper. That was tougher than it sounds but he kept following the lead, careful of where he was going.

  Watching him smile and duck and look at me like “what?” may be one of my favorite mommy memories.

  And, when he finally got to the end, we cheered.

  You might be thinking, “Andrea, how does this connect?”

  “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, to search out a matter is the glory of Kings.”

  Just the language of this verse describes God’s values and esteem. God’s glory, his honor and splendor, is to tuck away bits of Heaven. And we, as His royal sons and daughters, have the honor and splendor of searching it out!

  When I read this verse I believe the very same delight, love, devotion, encouragement, even creativity I felt as a mom watching her boy on his birthday is God’s heart for you and me as we follow the leads in our lives.

  Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, “Earth is crammed with heaven.” So, what if your life and mine are a messy matrix leading us, if we’re willing to follow, from one gift after another planted lovingly and knowingly by our Father? That’s a “what if” worth going after.

  “I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel who summons you by name.”

  Isaiah 45:3

  There’s the invitation again in Isaiah.

  It is the glory of God to watch you, to encourage you, to smile on you as you discover little bits of heaven tucked in a friend’s text message, behind the lyrics in a perfectly timed song, in scripture after scripture spelling out God’s love.

  Colossians 3:16 says “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly.” There’s that language again. Do you see it? Let The Word bring you a word to teach you, to comfort you, to discipline you, to love you “richly.”

  Those bits of heaven, revealing the heart of God, are not just for moments of celebration. It was during some of my darkest days that I put one foot in front of the other begging God for a glimmer because I was mad at Him or felt deserted by Him. That stinker always showed up.

  When the birthday crepe paper trail headed towards a tangled mess; Joseph kind of shook his head, smiling. Do you know why? He knew I made it. He knew I wanted to challenge him. He knows that I know that he is up for the challenge. So, when the trail looked messy, he kept going. We need to be that tight with God. I want to be that tight with God.

  Do you know that God knows that you don’t know it all? Cause you don’t.

  Are you willing to follow His lead? This is more than a treasure hunt. These bits of Heaven, pieces of wisdom, glimpses of eternity connect us to our Creator. There is more. Are you willing to search, examine, investigate, explore, ask, ask ask again and then listen for all He has tucked away for you?

  Your God delights in you. Delight in Him. He gave us free will and is jumping for us to choose Him.

  I mean, can we talk about Moses for a second? Exodus 3 “Moses was tending the flock of Jethro, his father in-law… and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb. There (here comes a crepe paper trail moment, earth crammed with heaven moment, God concealing a matter moment) There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush.” Now, this is where Moses “searches out the matter.” Verse 2 says, “Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up.” (Moses is noticing.) Verse 3, “So, Moses thought, ‘I will go over and see this strange sight – why the bush does not burn up.” (Moses is thinking and now moving.) So, Moses goes over to the bush and God calls out his name. God conceals his desire to talk to Moses within a flaming, but not burning up, bush. Moses searches it out and finds God.

  All this to say, God wants to be found by you. Keep your eyes open wide and your heart even wider.

  Posted in NOVEMBER 2021 | 2 Comments | Tagged Colossians 3:16, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, How the Light Gets In, Isaiah 45:3, Proverbs 25:2

• Grounding: Practicing Presence in your Present

  Posted at 9:35 am by How the Light Gets In, on October 28, 2021

  Listen Here

  Raise your hand if you have been to a Chuck E Cheese.

  Raise your hand if, after skeeball of course, you went into the Ticket Blaster.

  A pro would know to step into that cylinder with your shirt tucked in and your hair pulled back in a ponytail so you’re ready to grab everything you can.

  Because just like that, a tornado whips around you sending tickets in a swirly mess. Since the booth is transparent, from the outside it becomes instant entertainment for anyone who chooses to stop and watch you. From the inside, your goal is to grab as many tickets as you can so you can cash in for the grand prize of a stale tootsie roll and maybe even a glittery pencil. Every ticket was one more opportunity to earn a bigger prize. Your eyes are darting up, down, left, right trying to catch any and every ticket you can. It’s frantic and loud and messy but fun.

  Life is feeling like a ticket blaster these days – for good and for bad.

  Like this past weekend, all 5 kids were home. We packed 48 hours celebrating Bean’s birthday with Cheeze-It Chicken and duckpin bowling and ice cream at The Charmery, with basketball games (for Lily and even Jason – which is a fantastic story for another time). All good things, right? And I found myself trying to lock in on each kid and my husband to capture and hold their faces, the way they were getting along (because they were actually getting along), the smell of the bowling alley, the creaminess of the surprisingly amazing vegan ice cream… all of it. I wanted to capture and hold all of it, both hands.

  On the flip side, I’m aware of friends and family awaiting test results, going into surgery, watching a tumor, witnessing the passing of a beloved Uncle and I find my self praying, yet frantic to capture and hold all of it, both hands.

  If I haven’t said it before here, I’ll say it now; it is tough being a human being. And I am forever grateful for my therapy. It just helps me be a better human.

  I had never considered God as a therapist until I read this interaction He had with Elijah.

  We’re going to read through a bit of a “Ticket Blaster” situation Elijah finds himself in and then how God moves with him through it.

  Elijah is a model of obedience and focus and endurance when it comes to a relationship with God. And near the end of his assignment, Elijah starts tripping on his own feet grabbing at whatever he can. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is running away from Jezebel (with good reason since she’s threatening to kill him). Elijah is afraid, he’s tired, he’s done. “I have had enough! Lord, take my life, for I’m no better than my fathers.” He wanted to die. The story continues, “Suddenly, an angel touched him. The angel told him, “Get up and eat.” Then he looked, and there at his head was a loaf of bread baked over hot stones and a jug of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord returned for a second time and touched hm. He said, ‘Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you. So he got up, ate, and drank. Then on the strength from that food, he walked forty days and forty night to Horeb, the mountain of God. He entered a cave there and spent the night.”

  Suddenly, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “what are you doing here Elijah?” He replied, I have been very zealous for the Lord God of Armies, but the Israelites have abandoned your covenant, torn down your altars and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are looking for me to take my ife.”

  Then He (being God) said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the Lord’s presence.” At that moment, the Lord passed by. A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake, there was a fire but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was a voice, a soft whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

  Suddenly, a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

  Let’s notice what just happened. God just pulled a Jamie here. Jamie is my therapist. If and when I’m overwhelmed, a practice Jamie walks me through is “Grounding.”

  This technique engages all five senses with these prompts:

  • search for 5 things they can see
  • search for 4 things they can touch
  • search for 3 things they can hear
  • search for 2 things they can smell
  • search for 1 thing they can taste

  Now do you see how God pulled a therapist move here with Elijah? God asks his faithful servant a question. But, Elijah is too overwhelmed to answer. So, God walks him through some Grounding. He sends wind Elijah can see, an earthquake he can hear, a fire he can feel and smell and then a whisper.

  At the end of the experience, God repeats the question. It’s important to notice, the circumstance hasn’t changed. So what’s different?

  Elijah answers with the same words but I bet the tone is different. He’s grounded. He’s more aware. And he knows God is with him.

  “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

  Again, notice Elijah’s answer is the same.

  But, now that they’ve taken a breath together, God recognizes Elijah is ready to move. And Elijah recognizes he’s ready to move.

  There’s a lot of power in the “here,” as in where you are this very moment.

  There’s a lot of power in knowing and being aware.

  I love that God uses the gifts He’s given us- our senses- to pull us back to our senses.

  It’s more than a realization of the details. Grounding pulls all of you in the moment you’re in. It shows me how much God values every bit of me that He would invite me into the good and the bad with all of me to remember He’s in it with me.

  Remember how we talked about stacking stones as a practice to remind you where you were? Let Grounding be a practice to establish where you are right now. The past should be remembered but don’t stay there too long. And forget the future – I don’t know about you but the future can look a little too wacky with my imagination.

  God made me with more than just two hands. Life is not a Ticket Blaster. God gave you and me our senses, therapists and Grounding to realize His presence in our present. Let’s cash in on that prize today.

  Posted in FEBRUARY 2022, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 1 Kings 19, Elijah, Grounding, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, Therapy

• Imprinting

  Posted at 1:57 pm by How the Light Gets In, on September 10, 2021

  Imprinting Podcast Episode

  Almost as quickly as a zebra is born, it disappears. Do you know this? The wobbly, striped baby and his momma steal away from the herd for the first two days of the foal’s life. The two stay close to one another, limiting direct contact with other zebras so he can learn to identify her by sight, smell and sound. This process, this special time is called “Imprinting.”

  Stripes are as unique to each zebra as a fingerprint is to you and me. That makes imprinting a powerful and important time for the baby to learn where he comes from and to whom he belongs.

  Sitting nose to nose with his momma, the baby zebra will notice the rich blackness in her markings. He will become aware that her white hair is soft, almost creamy. He will learn how her stripes drip into a diamond pattern just between her beautiful, big eyes. Sitting this close to her, he will breathe in her scent and unknowingly lock it into his heart.

  

  When the imprinting is done, momma will release her baby back into the herd. Can you imagine the overwhelm of black and white and neighs and manes? That’s where the imprinting is key – in the midst of the chaos, he can lift his head, look for the diamond on her face, the cream in her stripes and breathe in until he finds his momma.

  Leave it to one of my favorite bible teachers, Priscilla Shirer, to point out the way imprinting is just as important for us and our connection with Jesus. I’ll let that settle in with you a moment. I just think it’s so good.

  Taking time to focus in on the character and promises of the One who loves us the most is powerful imprinting for you and me as we head out into the “herd.”

  So, let’s do it. Right now. Together, let’s steal away for a moment with the One who loves us the most to get up close to His voice, His breath, His words.

  If you’re walking, slow down. If you’re waiting in carpool, pull your windows up. If you’re waiting on an appointment, this will only take a moment.

  Rather than list a bunch of scriptures, let’s pay attention to this one story from the Gospel of Mark:

  Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus, was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you!” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately, he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.”

  Mark 10:46-52

  What do you notice about Jesus in this short story? He was traveling. He was with his disciples plus a bunch more. Jesus sought out friends and welcomed everyone. Also, how about Bartimaeus? The reputation of Jesus’ power was so compelling that this blind, beggar would be bold enough to shout out his name. And, Jesus hears him and sees beyond Bartimaeus’ blindness, stench, dirt straight through to his willing heart. If a cloak was all that man owned, Bartimaeus threw it aside the moment Jesus called his name. Now, this could have been a fantastical scene of power, drawing all sorts of attention with a big booming voice and fanfare. But, instead, Jesus called Bartimaeus in close to ask him a question. “What do you want me to do for you?” I wonder if the blind man was breathing in the scent of his Lord and recording the inflection of Jesus’ voice on his heart. Deflecting any honor, Jesus tells him, “Go, your faith has healed you.” Immediately, he could see. And released into the bustling world, what does Bartimaeus do? He looks for the one who loves him most – Jesus.

  This world is crazy and awful and hard and loud and fun and beautiful.

  When you find it’s all too much, try doing what we did here just now. Choose a story from the gospel of Matthew or John and pull out the details that tell you about Jesus. Or ask what Jesus is saying about you. If you feel like you don’t know who you are; read through Ephesians 1-3 a couple times to understand how purposeful and spectacular and powerful and necessary God says you are. If you’re suffering through a series of hard blows and find yourself asking why over and over; then read through the story of Job. If you have a lot of feelings, google a Psalm about those feelings and read what you find. You have a God who is for you, beside and waiting to hear from you. You have eternity written on your heart. And His plans for you are good. Take that into the herd.

  Don’t let the noise around you confuse you. Don’t let the chaos make your legs buckle.

  Steal away with the One who loves you the most and let imprinting be the way the light gets in.

  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Bartimaeus, Bible, healing, How the Light Gets In, imprinting, Jesus, Mark 10, priscilla shirer, zebra