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Unwrap a gift with me

Posted at 10:50 am by How the Light Gets In, on March 4, 2021

Time and Distance lovingly offered me a present. It feels too special and beautiful and too big for just me. So, would you unwrap it with me?

There were more than a thousand days in 2016 through 2019. Looking back through journals, it feels as if each one of them was blotched with dark, angry pain. Plus, I was bitter. There was a lot of shame and hurt on one very specific area of my body; spanning my hips, left to right, from my waist to my knees. And that very specific area was exactly where every doctor and nurse and specialist wanted to put their focus. It felt cruel that an area of my body that I wanted to avoid, that I had spent my life avoiding, was now the exact place I would be scanned, injected, cut through and pondered over. It’s as if the universe was taking my face in it’s hands and directing it at my pelvis in what felt like a staring contest. The body always keeps score, right? That staring contest took 3 years, 5 surgeries, 13 scars, lots of meds and a bunch of metal coils in my side wall (which is part of the pelvis). My body was up by 1.

I was seeing three specialists during this time; Dr. Steven Adashek (surgeon) and Dr. Sam DuFlo (Physiotherapist) and Jamie (Therapist). At the time, I couldn’t see it. But looking back now, I see how each of these spectacular humans was vital to my healing. Dr. Adashek offered me the anatomical explanation and cutting through things like my nerve entrapment and scar tissue. Dr. Sam DuFlo gently pushed and pressed on my stomach stretching the physiological and metaphorical anger inside, teaching me the gifts of stretching and breathing to care for my body. Jamie listens and coaches my heart towards the courage it needs to go places I didn’t want to go before. They were and still are my “Dream Team.”

Looking back, with just enough distance I can see God was doing a thing. He was setting the stage for healing.

While the process was in motion, I was hoping He was going to take the pain away.

But this is God we’re talking about.

God was working with me through Dr. Adashek, Dr. Sam and Jamie to do more than just take the pain away. God was working to restore, redeem and repair. Have you heard the phrase “abundantly more”? THIS is how God operates, in an EXTRA sort of way.

What are you battling, hiding, avoiding, white-knuckling? Can you step out of it just for a moment? Can you hit pause and breathe? Will you allow Time and Distance to present you with their gifts? If you journal, take some time to flip back and take note of the people and situations and “coincidences” along the way. If you have a billion photos, take some time to scroll through the past year and see what memories stop you.

I may not be on anyone’s dream team but whether you like it or not, I’m your cheerleader. I’ve got a megaphone and a big story and loud voice to tell you this: God has assembled a Dream Team for you. God is working on the details to teach you, equip you and encourage you to full healing beyond what you’re hoping for. I don’t know what it looks like, who’s involved or when it will happen but

GOD

WORKING

FOR

YOU.

Keep your eyes open, ears alert, heart ready.

GOD

WORKING

FOR

YOU.

Posted in March 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Brene Brown, God, healing, How the Light Gets In, Indigo Physio, Miracle, Pain, surgery, Therapy

The sea says, “nope.”

Posted at 11:47 am by How the Light Gets In, on August 26, 2017

How do you find your peace? Where is your Happy Place? We all have one in mind. That dreamy place where everything settles just where it belongs. Talking about it at dinner with friends, the answers sound like: the ocean, the lake, an island. So, the sidelines of a game, teaching in a classroom, fighting traffic… not the ideal spots for peace? Yeah, I feel you. So, when Jesus says something like “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world gives.” That can totally be one of those lofty sounding scriptures that makes you want to 1. roll your eyes and 2. nod your head in passive acceptance.

But hear it. Listen to it. Jesus, the son of God who created the universe and it’s beaches and lakes. Jesus, who walked this dusty, hard Earth and felt all of our human emotions so He could really get us. That Jesus is offering you peace. And it’s not your peace. It’s not the massage, on the beach, with the candles and warm puppies prancing in the water. (Warm puppies, yes). He is giving you HIS peace. He even says, ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, “I do not give it to you as the world gives.” He knew then and knows now how we build up the perfect spot in our mind. He offers His peace plain and simple.

What blows my mind about the bible is that it just reminds me over and over how connected we all are; past and present and future. The book of Job goes back even further than Jesus and it tells the story of people thousands of years ago doing the same thing we do today. “Mortals search out the farthest recesses for ore in the blackest darkness… in places untouched.. they tunnel… they search.” -Job 28

“THEY” are YOU, ME, US because we are still searching and longing for that spot where it all is just right. Back then and today, the bluest oceans still say, “Nope.” Job 28:14 says, “The deep says, ‘it is not me.’ The sea says, ‘it is not me.'” Now, please do not get me wrong. There is NOTHING wrong with an escape. I love the ocean and would go to the beach right now if I could. It IS a happy place for me. When I’m there I feel connected to the sound of the waves, the tiniest granules of sand, the wide open-ness of it all. God is a an artist.

But I can’t get there all the time. And God doesn’t give His peace the way we expect. I remember one specific time of when I have felt that peace. The unmistakable calm in the pediatric wing, under flourescent lights, in a hospital room. Not a happy place. We were on day 4 of our hospital stay with Joseph. He was so sick, so scared and pretty bitter because he felt “God forgot him.” We had just finished reading a book called, “Tashi.” I read all 400+ pages aloud in just a few days. Such a great escape from where we were at the moment!! The book was a gift from my friend Meredith and her daughter, Allison. As soon as it was done, we both cried. It’s like we realized where we were again. Joseph asked me to search for a sequel on Amazon. I was literally praying for the sequel and that it was “Prime” so we could get that book the next day. I remember the tension I felt in my neck, the tight grip on my heart to find the book. That’s where we were, ok? I needed God to get me that book for my kid NOW. I texted Meredith to ask if Allison had the 2nd book. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise but I had to know. And I prayed; “God please just have this book for Joseph. I need peace for Joseph. He needs to feel like you see him again.” Joseph said out loud, “Mom, let’s pray for the book. I have my roll of quarters from Ms Beth. I can’t walk to the snack machine so what if I buy the second Tashi book for Allison.” I am a cry-er. Tears are my thing. But at that moment, I held them back and agreed to his request. He prayed “God please let there be a second Tashi. And let it be $10. And please let Allison share it with me when she’s done.” Here is where the peace came flooding in. Because YES, there was a Tashi Sequel. YES, it was Prime. YES, it was under $10. All answers to his prayer. But right then, Meredith walked in and handed me the second book and left. I turned to show Joseph. And his face, I’ll never forget it. He smiled so big and started looking around the room, “Mom. He is here. God heard me just like that. He is here.” No blue waters. No sand. Just a smile and a book to remind me that God is with us.

God is for us. God just wants to share His peace with us. I don’t even remember if we liked the second book. I will always remember the calm, the assurance, the deep peace we had in that little room at that moment.

God is an artist in your world right where you are. Let Him meet you and gift you some amazing, tailored-just-for-you, delivered in unexpected way kind of peace.

Go ahead and ask for it.

Posted in AUGUST 2017 | 1 Comment | Tagged God, Happy Place, How the Light Gets In, Job 28, Job 28:14, Tashi