how the light gets in

by Andrea Smithberger
how the light gets in
  • November 1: Honoring
  • Day 2: Signaling
  • Day 3: Revealing
  • DAY 4: Reminding
  • Day 5: Reflecting
  • Day 6: Changing
  • Day 7: Surrounding
  • Day 8: Healing
  • Day 9: Filtering
  • Day 10: Spreading
  • Day 11: Unveiling
  • Day 12: Distinguishing
  • Day 13: Challenging
  • Day 14: Nourishing
  • Day 15: Unassuming
  • Day 16: Leading
  • Day 17: Delighting
  • Day 18: Reaching
  • Day 19: Shining
  • Day 20: Reviving
  • Day 21: Growing
  • Day 22: Comforting
  • Day 23: Holding Space
  • Day 24: Beckoning
  • Day 25: Stunning
  • Day 26: Igniting
  • Day 28: Introducing
  • November 2020
  • Tag: Therapy

    • Grounding: Practicing Presence in your Present

      Posted at 9:35 am by How the Light Gets In, on October 28, 2021

      Listen Here

      Raise your hand if you have been to a Chuck E Cheese.

      Raise your hand if, after skeeball of course, you went into the Ticket Blaster.

      A pro would know to step into that cylinder with your shirt tucked in and your hair pulled back in a ponytail so you’re ready to grab everything you can.

      Because just like that, a tornado whips around you sending tickets in a swirly mess. Since the booth is transparent, from the outside it becomes instant entertainment for anyone who chooses to stop and watch you. From the inside, your goal is to grab as many tickets as you can so you can cash in for the grand prize of a stale tootsie roll and maybe even a glittery pencil. Every ticket was one more opportunity to earn a bigger prize. Your eyes are darting up, down, left, right trying to catch any and every ticket you can. It’s frantic and loud and messy but fun.

      Life is feeling like a ticket blaster these days – for good and for bad.

      Like this past weekend, all 5 kids were home. We packed 48 hours celebrating Bean’s birthday with Cheeze-It Chicken and duckpin bowling and ice cream at The Charmery, with basketball games (for Lily and even Jason – which is a fantastic story for another time). All good things, right? And I found myself trying to lock in on each kid and my husband to capture and hold their faces, the way they were getting along (because they were actually getting along), the smell of the bowling alley, the creaminess of the surprisingly amazing vegan ice cream… all of it. I wanted to capture and hold all of it, both hands.

      On the flip side, I’m aware of friends and family awaiting test results, going into surgery, watching a tumor, witnessing the passing of a beloved Uncle and I find my self praying, yet frantic to capture and hold all of it, both hands.

      If I haven’t said it before here, I’ll say it now; it is tough being a human being. And I am forever grateful for my therapy. It just helps me be a better human.

      I had never considered God as a therapist until I read this interaction He had with Elijah.

      We’re going to read through a bit of a “Ticket Blaster” situation Elijah finds himself in and then how God moves with him through it.

      Elijah is a model of obedience and focus and endurance when it comes to a relationship with God. And near the end of his assignment, Elijah starts tripping on his own feet grabbing at whatever he can. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is running away from Jezebel (with good reason since she’s threatening to kill him). Elijah is afraid, he’s tired, he’s done. “I have had enough! Lord, take my life, for I’m no better than my fathers.” He wanted to die. The story continues, “Suddenly, an angel touched him. The angel told him, “Get up and eat.” Then he looked, and there at his head was a loaf of bread baked over hot stones and a jug of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord returned for a second time and touched hm. He said, ‘Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you. So he got up, ate, and drank. Then on the strength from that food, he walked forty days and forty night to Horeb, the mountain of God. He entered a cave there and spent the night.”

      Suddenly, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “what are you doing here Elijah?” He replied, I have been very zealous for the Lord God of Armies, but the Israelites have abandoned your covenant, torn down your altars and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are looking for me to take my ife.”

      Then He (being God) said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the Lord’s presence.” At that moment, the Lord passed by. A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake, there was a fire but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was a voice, a soft whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

      Suddenly, a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

      Let’s notice what just happened. God just pulled a Jamie here. Jamie is my therapist. If and when I’m overwhelmed, a practice Jamie walks me through is “Grounding.”

      This technique engages all five senses with these prompts:

      • search for 5 things they can see
      • search for 4 things they can touch
      • search for 3 things they can hear
      • search for 2 things they can smell
      • search for 1 thing they can taste

      Now do you see how God pulled a therapist move here with Elijah? God asks his faithful servant a question. But, Elijah is too overwhelmed to answer. So, God walks him through some Grounding. He sends wind Elijah can see, an earthquake he can hear, a fire he can feel and smell and then a whisper.

      At the end of the experience, God repeats the question. It’s important to notice, the circumstance hasn’t changed. So what’s different?

      Elijah answers with the same words but I bet the tone is different. He’s grounded. He’s more aware. And he knows God is with him.

      “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

      Again, notice Elijah’s answer is the same.

      But, now that they’ve taken a breath together, God recognizes Elijah is ready to move. And Elijah recognizes he’s ready to move.

      There’s a lot of power in the “here,” as in where you are this very moment.

      There’s a lot of power in knowing and being aware.

      I love that God uses the gifts He’s given us- our senses- to pull us back to our senses.

      It’s more than a realization of the details. Grounding pulls all of you in the moment you’re in. It shows me how much God values every bit of me that He would invite me into the good and the bad with all of me to remember He’s in it with me.

      Remember how we talked about stacking stones as a practice to remind you where you were? Let Grounding be a practice to establish where you are right now. The past should be remembered but don’t stay there too long. And forget the future – I don’t know about you but the future can look a little too wacky with my imagination.

      God made me with more than just two hands. Life is not a Ticket Blaster. God gave you and me our senses, therapists and Grounding to realize His presence in our present. Let’s cash in on that prize today.

      Posted in FEBRUARY 2022, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 1 Kings 19, Elijah, Grounding, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, Therapy
    • Unwrap a gift with me

      Posted at 10:50 am by How the Light Gets In, on March 4, 2021

      Time and Distance lovingly offered me a present. It feels too special and beautiful and too big for just me. So, would you unwrap it with me?

      There were more than a thousand days in 2016 through 2019. Looking back through journals, it feels as if each one of them was blotched with dark, angry pain. Plus, I was bitter. There was a lot of shame and hurt on one very specific area of my body; spanning my hips, left to right, from my waist to my knees. And that very specific area was exactly where every doctor and nurse and specialist wanted to put their focus. It felt cruel that an area of my body that I wanted to avoid, that I had spent my life avoiding, was now the exact place I would be scanned, injected, cut through and pondered over. It’s as if the universe was taking my face in it’s hands and directing it at my pelvis in what felt like a staring contest. The body always keeps score, right? That staring contest took 3 years, 5 surgeries, 13 scars, lots of meds and a bunch of metal coils in my side wall (which is part of the pelvis). My body was up by 1.

      I was seeing three specialists during this time; Dr. Steven Adashek (surgeon) and Dr. Sam DuFlo (Physiotherapist) and Jamie (Therapist). At the time, I couldn’t see it. But looking back now, I see how each of these spectacular humans was vital to my healing. Dr. Adashek offered me the anatomical explanation and cutting through things like my nerve entrapment and scar tissue. Dr. Sam DuFlo gently pushed and pressed on my stomach stretching the physiological and metaphorical anger inside, teaching me the gifts of stretching and breathing to care for my body. Jamie listens and coaches my heart towards the courage it needs to go places I didn’t want to go before. They were and still are my “Dream Team.”

      Looking back, with just enough distance I can see God was doing a thing. He was setting the stage for healing.

      While the process was in motion, I was hoping He was going to take the pain away.

      But this is God we’re talking about.

      God was working with me through Dr. Adashek, Dr. Sam and Jamie to do more than just take the pain away. God was working to restore, redeem and repair. Have you heard the phrase “abundantly more”? THIS is how God operates, in an EXTRA sort of way.

      What are you battling, hiding, avoiding, white-knuckling? Can you step out of it just for a moment? Can you hit pause and breathe? Will you allow Time and Distance to present you with their gifts? If you journal, take some time to flip back and take note of the people and situations and “coincidences” along the way. If you have a billion photos, take some time to scroll through the past year and see what memories stop you.

      I may not be on anyone’s dream team but whether you like it or not, I’m your cheerleader. I’ve got a megaphone and a big story and loud voice to tell you this: God has assembled a Dream Team for you. God is working on the details to teach you, equip you and encourage you to full healing beyond what you’re hoping for. I don’t know what it looks like, who’s involved or when it will happen but

      GOD

      IS

      WORKING

      FOR

      YOU.

      Keep your eyes open, ears alert, heart ready.

      GOD

      IS

      WORKING

      FOR

      YOU.

      Posted in March 2021, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Brene Brown, God, healing, How the Light Gets In, Indigo Physio, Miracle, Pain, surgery, Therapy
    • Eye Exercises

      Posted at 3:08 pm by How the Light Gets In, on March 5, 2020

      I’ve become a real big girl in these past few years. I mean, I am 44 years old. So, in theory, I really should behave like a strong, determined, positive, aware adult but that hasn’t been the case.

      Are you all grown up and settled into your best life? Yeah, I didn’t think so. In my 44 years of well-earned wisdom, I’m here to tell you:

      1. You are ok

      2. Keep Going

      3. There’s so much more to learn

      My trigger for this random post was a #2 Ticonderoga. Lily put the freshly sharpened pencil in my face and asked, “Aren’t pointy pencils the best?” And just like that, my heart got all heavy and achey.

      Remember when Joseph was sick? If you don’t, here’s the recap: For 18 months or so, Joseph was declining before our eyes. His brain was so swollen from whatever he was fighting that his eyes went crossed and stayed there. He had 11 lesions on his brain. He’d lost 14 pounds and was losing muscle tone every day. He struggled through brain fog. The swelling also gave him hypersensitivity to just about everything. My little boy was slipping away in front of us and no one knew why and no one knew what to do.

      Among many visits to many doctors, there was one I looked forward to and that was our weekly check up with the ophthalmologist. Dr. Collins always offered a calm voice in the chaos of appointments and tests and diagnoses.

      One visit, Dr. Collins gave us homework. A daily assignment for me and Joseph.

      And I didn’t want to do it.

      Her instructions were for Joseph and I to sit across from each other, knee to knee. I was to hold up a sharpened pencil right in front of his little nose and then move the pencil slowly to the left and back to center. And repeat. And repeat until his eye got tired. Then we would do the same to the right.

      Try to imagine how hard it was looking at my boy back then. I would willingly sit beside him and sketch with him. I would happily make him cookies and hold him in my lap and feel him relax.

      But this homework was making me do something I was avoiding; I would have to face Joseph. I would have to look him in the literal eye and face what was scaring me. And I would have to do it again and again.

      And I did my homework. Every night, I faced Joseph and we did eye exercises. I looked right into his eyes that were confused and trying and saw a little boy much the same.

      I learned that when those tiny, spidery vessels would show up turning his eyes red; he would want to keep pushing. So, I learned to hold back my tears and push him to keep going. I fought with God in my head, “Why is this happening? What is even happening?” I learned how determined Joseph is. I learned I could face the hard stuff.

      Only God could use a daily eye exercise to train up my heart.

      What little thing could you start doing today to train your heart?

      If I can do it, you can do it. Face the hard thing – with a friend, in prayer, through therapy – Face the hard thing.

      Start small.

      Maybe screenshot this verse from 2 Timothy 1:7 and repeat it every day.

      2 Timothy 1:7 TPT

      Mighty. Power. Love. Self-Control.

      God made you stronger than you know.

      Remind me of this when I’m wimping out later today💗

      Posted in March 2020, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged 2 Timothy 1:7, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, Pain, PTSD, Therapy
    • Bread + Therapy

      Posted at 1:36 pm by How the Light Gets In, on February 17, 2018

      Fun fact about me.  I’m a quitter.  I’ll start an embroidery project or drinking water; and before too long, it’s just meh.  So, a few months back, a circle of special girls decided we would tackle “100 Days to Brave” together.  It’s a devotional written to inspire, educate and love you to courage rooted in truth.  And it was 100 days.  Like, consecutively.  Not my M.O.  However, we did it!  I did it!  100 days of scripture to push me to a Brave life.  HOORAY!

      So, what would Brave look like for you?  After 100 days of hearing, YOU GOT THIS! What would you do?

      I baked bread.

      Those little yellow packet of “active yeast” have always intimidated the heck outta me.  Homemade pizza crusts, pie doughs, breads wigged me out because of the yeast part.  Why?  Please.  There is no logic here.  However, let me say it again; I baked bread.  And it was alright.  And I faced the dreaded yeast step again and again.  Now, I make a lovely Honey Oatmeal bread.

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      How is this brave?  Yeast aside, the process is slow.  Slow is not my speed.  The Honey Oatmeal Bread process requires time.  Carefully, I measure out the flour. Heating butter in a saucepan until it just melts and mixing in the honey and oats smells amazing and gives off the most wonderful smell.  Then after a few more steps, I get to put this mound of dough on the counter and knead it with my hands.  My speed, slow and deliberate, is intentional now.  Deep breaths in.  Long exhales.  There’s something magical about letting the dough rise, seeing it double in size.  And then, poof I deflate it and fold it into buttered pans to rise again.  And the SMELL that fills the house is a prize alone.

      It’s not a big deal but it’s a step.  It might sound dumb but it made me proud and feel pretty good about myself.

      That was the baby step. There always needs to be a first step, right?  Even if it is a loaf of bread.  My next brave move was:  I started therapy.  I stepped into an office with a professional and walked out alive.  The days after have left me feeling raw and kind of yucky feeling.  This therapy is shedding light on old wounds.  Wounds I’ve kept to myself.  Over time, those wounds have wrapped themselves in sticky lies and shame.

      This is what happens when the light gets in.  Those hard things I’ve kept to myself get the light of truth and love all over them.  I deserve this though.  Right?  I mean, yes, right.

      “You can’t have true courage unless you open yourself up to vulnerability.”  Thank you Brene Brown.  I am holding onto that.  I am brave because I am letting it go.

      Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians,

      “Everything exposed by the light becomes visible – and everything that is illuminated becomes light.”  – Ephesians 5:13

      God has been with me through my whole journey.  I believe He has waited patiently and lovingly for this moment and He is cheering me on.  “Be strong and courageous.  Don’t be afraid; don’t be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9. That’s good stuff.

      Bread + Therapy, this is how the light gets in for me these days.  Pray for me to not give up, on the bread or me.

      Posted in FEBRUARY 2018 | 1 Comment | Tagged 100 Days to Brave, Annie F Downs, Baking Bread, Brene Brown, Ephesians 5:13, How the Light Gets In, Joshua 1:9, Therapy, Vulnerability

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