I just don’t know what day it is anymore.
Every morning, Jason says, “This is just like Groundhogs Day.” Every morning. It will happen today. I can guarantee it. As he’s pouring his coffee into my favorite mug, he’ll shake his head side to side and say, “This is just like Groundhogs Day.”
What fun things do you look forward to every day?
When the people ask me what’s for dinner; I simply don’t know anymore. The “this is fun and different, don’t worry everything is fine” phase is uhhh over.
I’m pouting and putting ear plugs on my shopping list because I wake up to the same bird singing it’s deet-deet-deeeeet song at 4:58 every morning to start the same “This is just like Groundhogs Day” day over again.
Oh no wait, this week is different because the 3 younger ones start virtual learning.
It’s hard work being a human being right now. I don’t know what day it is. God gave me a lot of gifts but teaching is not one of them.
There are 7 humans plus a dog in this house, all the time. We’re all processing different losses at different times and grieving them very differently. That being said, last week was especially hard because the senior may actually not get a prom, the middle can’t be with her besties, the youngest loved her first Zoom call playdate but ached for her buddy, Jason was restricted to emergency patients only and I was sick.
My doctor prescribed Doxycycline and I was taking Gabapentin for my pain. Not only was I hurting and sick but getting so ticked off because usually (a word that feels heavy with golden predictability) USUALLY when I hurt, when I want peace, when I want to recharge; I go sit by the water. I love hearing it. I love feeing small near it. But the POLICE DO NOT CROSS yellow tape across each and every entry point to water was enough to break me.
AND THIS IS HOW GOD SHOWED UP ON A BLURSDAY:
Jenna and I were dm’ing on Instagram and I was telling her how sad I was about the water.
Here’s the video she sent. Listen carefully.
I never realized that before. Had you? God’s voice is the same in the water and in the wind. That’s the thing about God; always the same.
Do you read the “Streams in the Desert” devotional? If not, now is a good time to start. It’s a deep one but we’re living in a trench-like world where stats of life and death blur with images of masked faces and loneliness is a thick blanket on us all. Hold on, I need to take a deep breath.
Okay, so the “Streams in the Desert” reading for April 4 reads:
Once our eyes are opened by God, we will see all the events of our lives, whether great or small, joyful or sad, as a “chariot” for our souls. Everything that comes to us becomes a chariot the moment we treat it as such. On the other hand, even the smallest trial may become an object crushing everything in its path into misery and despair if we allow it. The difference then becomes a choice we make.“Streams in the Desert” Hannah Whitall Smith p.142
The scripture offered at the top of the reading is from 2 Kings 6:17
This “chariot” over instagram with Jenna reinforces to me that God is still here. God is still good. God is still showing up. God is still super creative in trying to get my attention.
Knowing that God is real and good and steady and true; that helps me. Does it help you?
It’s Blursday friends. Here we go again. The coffee is brewed and about to be poured, the laptops are charged for another virtual learning session and today I’m going to keep my eyes open. I pray you keep your eyes open too and can hear/see/believe/know God is here for you whatever day it is.