how the light gets in

Category: OCTOBER 2017

• Footprints

  Posted at 11:21 am by How the Light Gets In, on October 26, 2017

  I was lucky enough to spend a couple of days in Tucson this past week.  Just me and Jason.  Have you ever been?  Tucson looks like and feels like a different planet.   My time there was everything I needed it to be; quiet, relaxing, delicious, beautiful, and even challenging.

  There was a trail across from our resort and I was determined to hike it.

  And, dang it, I got lost.

  About 40 minutes into a pretty good trek,  I realized I was NOT on the right path.  Also, my water bottle was empty.  Also, I was alone with no cellphone reception.  Also?  I was alone.  No bueno.

  So, I gave myself a super pep talk;  “Well, now you’ve done it Andrea.  We just made it through CRAP and you’re gonna just die here on a dry trail.  You’re amazing.”  This drama was all out loud of course, because there was NO ONE around.

  Didn’t matter what direction I looked, it was all the same dry dirt, funky cactus and hot sun.  I tried going backwards, but an imposing herd of deer stood their ground, not letting me through.  They’re called “mule deer.”  Weirdos totally freaked me out.

  I tried going up but I just kept slipping.   I even stood in the same spot for a while…  You HAVE to know a metaphor is coming, right?  All I saw were the long spikes on the cactus, the dusty, dry dirt, the unstable rocks, the the steep angle dooowwwnn and I could NOT help but think of… me.  The sting of self-doubt, the choking of anxiety, the downward spiral of depression, the instability of emotion – I am this path. This is the most horticulturally-accurate version of my life last year!

  The zig zag, the climb, the not seeing around the bend, ALL OF IT was just so close to home.   And my out-loud conversation continued, “Okay, I see it.  But what’s going to help me now?”  When I looked down, the answer was right there in the dirt.

  

  Footprints.  Seeing all the footprints told me someone had been there before.  

  And sometimes, that’s enough, right?  To know someone has walked that path of pain, loss, victory, growth, is all we need.  The parallel was so sweet so I cried.   And I kept following the footprints.  And I kept crying and thanking God for all of you.

  That’s the power of sharing our stories.  It’s like leaving footprints.  And those footprints, or stories, are so very important.  Your story matters.  My story matters.  They keep us connected.  After all, we belong to each other.  We’re all in this life together.  Keeping with the horticultural theme: maybe you’ve been bumping into a spiky cactus or staring up a steep cliff.  Or maybe, God bless your lucky behind, you are the one sitting back on soft, green grass.  Share your story.  Leave your footprint.

  God treasures stories so much he left His footprints through His own son.  I would be lost without the story of Jesus.  Before Jesus was born, David said in the book of Psalms (16:11) “You make known to me the Path of Life.  You fill me with Joy in your presence.”  Generations later, Paul (who walked with Jesus) says , “You have made known to me the Paths of Life.  You will fill me with joy in your presence.” – Acts 2:28.

  And today, we can say together, “Thank you for our paths.  Help us look for the footprints.  Keep us close God and fill us with joy.”

  Keep walking.  Keep sharing.

  Posted in OCTOBER 2017 | 2 Comments | Tagged Acts 2:28, Cactus, Footprints, How the Light Gets In, Psalm 16:11, Tucson

• Right now…

  Posted at 11:07 am by How the Light Gets In, on October 17, 2017

  One of the reasons I started writing this blog is to share how I’m learning that brokenness can lead to beauty.  Learn-ING.  See that?  I do not have this down but I am try-ING!  Looking for “how the light gets in” sounds poetic and pretty.  But this is work and it can be hard.

  Right now.  I am writing this to encourage my own heart because right now there are so many broken pieces.  Plus, my stupid pain came back but I’m grateful for it.  The hurt refreshed a lesson I learned recently and want to share.  Maybe you can find encouragement in this too.

  John, chapter 11, tells us the story of Lazarus’ death.  Lazarus is Martha and Mary’s brother.  He’s a good friend of Jesus, as are Martha and Mary.  When Lazarus gets very sick, the sisters call for Jesus.  And Jesus shows up, seemingly, too late.  Lazarus is dead.

  Here’s how the two sisters approach Jesus.  Martha goes to Jesus.  She runs to him with her hurt and her questions and her WHY and WHERE WERE YOU and her faith (shaky but still intact faith).  “Lord if you had been here my brother would not have died.”  She’s taking her brokenness to Jesus.  He answers her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.  Do you believe this?”  That’s a loaded answer. So, let’s just look simply at the interaction.  Martha unloads her sadness, frustration, everything to Jesus and HE ANSWERS HER.  Now, Mary is a different story.  Maybe the girl is ticked off.  Her brother is dead.  Jesus did not save him.  And, when Mary hears Jesus is in town she does NOT go to him.  Martha rushes to Mary and says, Jesus is here for you.  Do you have a Martha in your life?  We all need a Martha.   “The Teacher is here and is asking for you,” Martha tells her.  Jesus is close the whole time but needs an invitation into her pain.

  JESUS IS CLOSE THE WHOLE TIME BUT NEEDS AN INVITATION INTO YOUR PAIN.

  Mary took Martha’s nudge and went running to her friend. “She fell at his feet and said, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'”  Do you know what Jesus did when he saw her crying?  He cried too.  And then he prayed to his Father.  Oh Jesus is so good.  Jesus then raises Lazarus from the dead.  And while, yes, holy moly that is quite a miracle; the relationships are what make me cry and teach me and encourage me.

  

  I took a lot to Jesus this morning.   I might have even cussed a few times.  There are a lot of broken pieces in this world, in my circle.
  Can I be your Martha right now?

  Jesus is close by and he’s asking for you.

  Jesus is waiting to hear your story.

  And He will cry with you.

  I am grateful for all my Martha’s, my Mary’s and most of all my Jesus.

  Posted in OCTOBER 2017 | 1 Comment | Tagged How the Light Gets In, John 11:38, Lazarus

• Practice Makes… Happy

  Posted at 10:13 pm by How the Light Gets In, on October 9, 2017

  Joseph’s eye surgery is done.  Behind us.  And it went so well.  In fact, he has 20/20 vision in both eyes and both eyes are straight.  It’s all we could ask for.  So why is my heart so funky?

  The practice of actively looking for “how the light gets in” this past year wasn’t always easy.  The “good” definitely stands out when everything else is crumbling.

  The phone call from CHOP felt as though light was literally busting through all the dark, heavy months.  Joseph was told his eyes are perfect and I was told I no longer need physiotherapy ON THE SAME DAY.  So why? Why? WHY was my heart kind of “blah”?  Stacey said it plain and simple, “You’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.”  Thank God for honest friends.  I was hearing the good news and waiting for the call back to say “On second thought, Mrs. Smithberger…”

  That’s when I realized the practice of looking for the light is work; work I have to choose and then do every day.  Every single day.

  If I don’t look for it, if I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, I’m going to miss out.

  If you don’t look for the light, you’re going to miss out.

  I’m not talking about looking for the silver lining or the miraculous.   No spin.  The fact is there’s just a lot of amazing in the ordinary.  So every day, I look for the light and then say Thank you.

  Like the other day when I noticed a friend, so I put the car in park and we had an impromptu “party” on the sidewalk.  I know two of the women, but the other mommas had simply heard our story and pulled me into their hugs to cry with me and celebrate with me.  I climbed back in the car, looked up through the sunroof and said Thank you.

  Or when I walked into Bank of America to make a deposit.  Sweet Ms Iris, doing her job, asked how I was but instead of saying fine;  I told her, “We got great news and I’m just getting used to it.  God is good.”  And she answered, “All the time.”  –God is good all the time– in the good, the bad, the boring, the everyday, God is good all the time.  Anyways, she told me a little of her story and before long I put up my hand on the plexiglass and she put her hand up to mine and we just cried.  Here’s a woman I don’t know, sharing her sadness and her joy and her faith with me.  Thank you.

  Every time I drop off Joseph at school, my heart swells seeing teachers with their thumbs up for us and their eyes brimmed up with tears for us. Thank you.

  When Lily is putting on her “chee-jays” at “bednight,” telling me about yet another Halloween costume idea; I look in her sweet eyes and say Thank you under my breath.

  Running around for 17 hours straight with my boys at a soccer tournament.  How about that?  I was able to get up and go and cheer and sit on a sideline and drive around and chat and laugh and cheer some more.  For that 17 hour light marathon, I say Thank you.

  Once you get in the groove of looking for the light, you can’t help but want to REFLECT the light!  So, the other day, I got a Graul’s cake to celebrate being “normal” (because, truly, what says shiny, happy like buttercream frosting?)  And in the moment, to have all 7 of us, circled around that frosted goodness and say what we were grateful for right then… Thank you x7.

  1 John 1:5-7 tells us

  “God is light… If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with each other.”  

  I love this verse because it ties in our beautiful light source and binds it to US being TOGETHER in it!  We are meant to do life together and we are wired to be drawn to the light.  God might not be walking the Earth but He sure does shine through.  And it’s in those light-filled moments that I feel God so close.  It makes the moments almost sacred to me.

  And maybe taking the extra time to soak in the ordinary moments is what makes them extraordinary.

  Thank you for being in this with me.

   

   

  Posted in OCTOBER 2017 | 3 Comments | Tagged 1 John 1:5-7, eye surgery, How the Light Gets In