how the light gets in

Tag: enneagram

• Grounding

  Posted at 10:24 am by How the Light Gets In, on February 8, 2019

  Any of you in therapy? You should be. Now now, it’s not just for crazies like me.

  Think of therapy as investing in a life coach to unravel your layers of crap so you can start moving; or in my case, start Grounding.

  Seeing that I am a 2 on the Enneagram, aka The Helper (generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, possessive); it only makes sense that I would gift you the How-To on Grounding because I want to help. Also, I am an external processor.  Okay, I’ll stop now. I’m just transparent and it’s important to me. (Dang this self-awareness.)

  This is how I practice Grounding:

  First, I look down at my feet and make sure they’re planted firmly on the floor (car floor, hospital room floor, lacrosse turf, Trader Joe’s, etc).

  Next, I look around me to SEE what I see; sunshine, or an anxious kid, or a table full of family around the table, or maybe a sad friend.

  Then, I take a deep breath in and relax my hands.

  And last, I make a mental list of where I am.

  That’s it. Just like that, I end up aware of where I am.

  In an easy scenario, my feet are flat on my kitchen floor, I’m sitting next to Lily at the table. We’re making a play-doh “feast” for her Calico Critter families. I notice one of her bottom teeth looks slightly off; which means my baby will be losing a baby tooth soon. And, then I notice her soft round face. I take a deep breath in and feel so grateful to have my hands in play-doh, at 43 years old, next to my 5th healthy child, in a great house, with the machine gun rattles of Fort-Nite coming up from the basement, Luci strumming her Ukelele and Honey begging for food.

  I lock it into my heart’s memory.

  In a not so easy scenario, my feet are flat on the kitchen floor but this time I’m watching Joseph hold his head, telling me “I can’t focus my eyes, Mommy.” Fear from the past claws to the front, trying to force me into diagnosing him, making a note of which doctor I will call to demand imaging. But, no. I remember, he’d just been sick the night before. He needs water. Maybe I do too. I relax my fists and take a deep breath. And remember, we’re not in 2017 anymore. This is 2019.

  Grounding is a practice that literally makes a present out of the present.

  Grounding is not where you were, not where you will be.

  Grounding is about where you ARE right now.

  Grounding is a way of noticing where you are rooted and how you’ve established patterns in your life.

  I don’t know where you are physically in this very moment. But you know what I DO know about you?

  You are rooted in God’s love. You are established in God’s love. And that love is so wide and so long and so high and so deep; right where you are.

  Remember that the next time you plant your feet on the floor.

  Get Grounding.

  Posted in JANUARY 2019, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged enneagram, Ephesians 3:17-19, Grounding, How the Light Gets In

• Dear Barb,

  Posted at 8:57 am by How the Light Gets In, on August 27, 2018

  I can’t even get caught up in the “WHY did we just have this year and now you’re leaving” discussion.  I can’t because you are a treasure and I am grateful for any and all time we’ve had.  And we jumped into our friendship, both feet, all in.  Didn’t we? Full “this is my story” talks, hair cuts, pancakes, Enneagram discussion, many small-child-interrupted visits… I am a solid 21 years older than you girl. And yet, we good.

  God is the coolest, right? That he would bring us together right at this time! I love that we can talk about the hard, what I’ve learned, what you’re learning and we can LEARN together.

  Let’s get to this England deal.  You’re off on a year-long internship in the UK on ministry. I could not be more excited and proud for you.

  Before you go, I need to be a “2” and gush over you. You are so many things to so many people here Barb.  Maybe that’s the “8” in you…

  

  You are charismatic and encouraging, yes.  You have enormous willpower and vitality, yes. And you have left your mark, yes.

  But you are so much more than an “8” – Because God smiled giving you the roundest brown eyes and the cutest nose.  Because God fashioned you with a determined spirit. Because Jesus lives in your heart.

  This internship is such a unique opportunity.  Here, in Baltimore, your roles are too many to name.  You have so many jobs (SO many jobs), you’re also Young Life leader and a friend and a daughter. All of these commitments ask a lot of you and you give them all 100%.

  100%.

  This, Barb, is your chance to release all those responsibilities and focus on ONE task; allow God to focus on you 100%.  Breathe. Give yourself time to adjust. You will have new rhythms, new faces, new coffee places, same God.

  I will miss you. Lauren will miss you. I won’t even go there.

  Te quiero mucho,

  Andrea

   

  Posted in AUGUST 2018 | 1 Comment | Tagged Barb, enneagram, How the Light Gets In

• New Year, New Word

  Posted at 4:53 pm by How the Light Gets In, on January 14, 2018

  New Year, New Word… Years ago, I gave up the traditional long list of New Years Resolutions and swapped it for the “One Word” project.  This is not my invention but an actual thing.  The “One Word” idea is to give thought to one special word to shape, focus, guide your year.  We do it every January as a family.  We search for a scripture to back it up.  Then, we pull out sharpies of all colors, a pile of 5×7 canvases and command strips.  Our “One Word” time around our table is one of my favorites.

  This year, my word is DISCERNMENT.  Sounds solid, doesn’t it?  I really like it.  I feel like it’s a bold, strong, smart word.  I like the idea of being bold, strong and smart.  My scripture is from Colossians 1:9-10.  I swapped out a few pronouns to make it my prayer for this year.  “I keep asking to be filled with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding the Spirit gives, so that I may live a life worthy of the Lord, and please Him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all the power according to His glorious might so I have great endurance and patience.”

  2018, let’s do this:  Knowledge, wisdom, understanding, fruit bearing, growing, endurance and patience.  Yes Yes YES!

  

  “The ability to judge well.”  I need that.  I like that.  I love the idea of taking a breath in before I answer or exhaling before I react.

  And right away, January is testing my word.   But, not how you may think.  I mean, yes, I do have 5 kids.  That alone needs a load of discernment: Is the 15 year old burning the candle at both ends again?  How can I help?  What’s going to trigger Joseph?  There’s the husband.  So, sweet husband, how are we going to handle this week’s athletics, work, commitments and oh yeah, us?  I’m a Wyld Life leader.  How are my middle school friends doing?  Where and how can I be meeting them in their lives?  I’m also a sister, a daughter, a friend.

  But, I didn’t pick the word as a mom.  I felt drawn to the word for me, Andrea, the person.  I want the ability to judge well for me.  Do you know about the Enneagram?  I recently took the test and was rated as a 2, a “Giver.”  Who knew a test could sum me up after 25 minutes of this or that questioning?  But it’s true.  I am a giver, a helper.  I will love you by helping you, driving for you, picking something up for you, etc.  And while that is a nice type of person, certainly one of the sweetest types.  Heehee.  I’m not the best giver to ME.  And that needs some discernment.   Also, this blog, do I keep writing it?  I love writing; truly love it.  And yet, I feel this pull on my heart to be doing something different.  And, I don’t know what it is.  Call in some discernment.

  So, God and I have this good thing going where I keep close to Him through prayer and journaling, etc.  And, He sticks with me.  The other morning I journaled (more like scribbled furiously) how annoyed I was with myself, with this yuck-dissatisfied feeling in my heart.  And I asked God to “bring on Discernment.”  My phone dings to announce an email.  Ready?  Two new emails:  One from “She Reads Truth” offering encouragement in my search for clarity this year.  Wow, ok.  And the other is from Word Press asking, “What is your blog resolution for 2018?”  Can’t make it up.  Ummm, thank you God for sending random mass emails tailored directly to my tangled up heart.   Then I get texts from two friends checking in on me because they “felt me on their hearts.”  Cue the heart eyes emoji.  THEN, I open up my “Jesus Calling” and the reading for the day…

  “When you bring me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before me.  Speak to me candidly, pour out your heart.  Thank me for the answers I have set in motion long before you can DISCERN results.  When your requests come to mind, Thank me for answers already on their way…”  The scriptures for the day come from Exodus 33:14 “My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.”  And John 15:4, “Remain in me as I remain in you.”

  There is something unbelievably mind-blowing about our big, invisible God reaching out from heaven to pat me on the shoulder and encourage me right where I’m at, on the couch, grumpy because I don’t know how to or even want to love myself well.  See how He does it?  Scripture is the obvious way to hear God’s voice.  So, read it, every day; read it.  The more you read, the more familiar God’s voice becomes.  Also, random texts that prove there are no coincidences.  And. my favorite is when God reaches out through my peeps.

  Pray for me, please, to stick to my word.  I know how awesome “steadfast” was for me in 2017.  I look forward to all the ways and people God will use to teach me discernment.  Also, Lily’s word is AAIOIPATPIOIPEAO. May it serve her well.

   

  Posted in JANUARY 2018 | 4 Comments | Tagged 2018, Colossians 1:9-10, Discernment, enneagram, Exodus 33:14, How the Light Gets In, John 15:4, One Word