I’m writing this while on vacation. That being said, you might assume The “R” Cycle refers to things like rest, recharge, relax. Ummmmm no.
My saint of a husband just drove off with all 5 of our children to an ARCADE. Bless that beautiful man.
So, here I am alone. And, I’m realizing I need a vacation from this vacation. I don’t like them right now. I birthed those children and I don’t like them. I love them but I do not like them.
There is just a whole lot of quality time happening around here. We keep bumping into each other. And, they keep finding me (because maybe I’ve taken to hiding) to tell me how someone is breathing on them, chewing too loudly or pushing them.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stretched my hands out, shoulders shrugged up to my ears, “But look,” I say, “We’re at the beach. Everyone is happy at the beach.”
“There are so many of you!” I keep insisting like maybe it will click one of these times…”You have built in friends!”
The beach IS my happy place though. And these people WILL make happy memories together. So, I’m going to lean hard onto The “R” Cycle to get us through.
The first “R” is for Rupture: to breach or disturb a harmonious feeling or sensation.
Okay, it’s much too luxurious a word for the crap show that a rupture feels like but this is called alliteration. So we’re going with it.
Every family, every human relationship hits a “rupture” point. Fair? Some may even hit a few disturbances a day. Normal. The shift between seasons, especially into summer, can be challenging. I just wasn’t expecting the multitude of disturbances in a place as harmonious as the flipping beach. Grrrrrrrrrrrupture.
The second “R” refers to Repair. How am I going to repair the rupture: Listening to the issue without tapping my foot in irritation? Starting my peace treaty proposal minus the eye roll? These are good starts.
Here’s the golden nugget…
It’s not about the Rupture, it’s all about how you Repair.
I can’t take credit for that bit of wisdom. My therapist says it to me a lot.
The repair is the care, the tone, the time I can take to fix the fight. It’s the words minus the sarcasm and loaded with grace I can choose to tie the loose ends.
I’m beyond the “you only have so many summers before they’re gone” sap. But I am fully aware that I have them here now. I am fully aware that we are going to rupture and dang it I am determined to repair well.
And, as if on cue… Jason just walked in with the crew singing “Reunited and it feels so good.”
Off to work on my R’s with my peeps.
I do love them. Thanks for listening.💗
2 thoughts on “The “R” Cycle”
You have written what almost every mom feels on day 2, 3 or maybe even day 1 of vacation.
Thanks for putting into words and validating that not all moments are perfect but all memories of these times together years from now will be. It is hard to smile during these times and not roll eyes or in my case use my mean mommy voice;)
Enjoy the last day of vacation , tune the bickering out , enjoy your hubby and each of those beautiful kiddos even if it is from a far jumping a wave or playing catch on the beach.
Love your blogs always putting perspective and letting this mom know the others feel the same things and struggle and love in good and messy times.
How the Light Gets In
Aaaagh Jen! So grateful you feel this too!!!! Thank you for your encouragement and letting me know I’m not alone!!!!