Day 2, the light comes in SIGNALING a change in how you’re moving.
Light comes to us in all sorts of ways for all sorts reasons.
To signal means ‘transmitting information or instructions by means of a gesture, action, or sound.’
In our case, we’re looking for the light as a signal.
This gorgeous signal is telling you to slow down.
Today, notice how light is signaling a change for you.
The clocks are turned back, stealing away another hour of light.
Let’s keep our eyes open for all the ways the light gets in.
November 1 is ‘All Souls Day.’
Day One, the light comes in HONORING those who have past.
Gathering around, remembering her with a flickering candle. This little fire glows and connects us to honor a life lost.
“Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, Rest In Peace. Amen.”
Who do you honor today?
Honor them with a little light.
The pandemic we are suffering from is not a virus in need of a vaccine.
The widespread disease covering our country is isolation; symptoms include loneliness, fatigue and anger.
We are triggered.
And the upcoming Presidential election is pouring fear on thick and cold.
I’m over it. Aren’t you? I refuse to accept this as the “new normal.” We were NOT made to be hunched over our devices “connecting” or worse, hitting like or send on divisive ideologies pushing us further and further apart.
Ugh.
So, I’ve pulled together some reminders of who I am, who you are, who we are meant to be and who God is to put my heart in check.
Tell me what you think. PLEASE, add to the list.
I am a person of integrity, character and honesty.
I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul and with all my strength.
I will put on the full armor of God so that I can stand firm against the schemes of the devil.
I am the head, I am not the tail. I am above, I am not beneath.
I am a leader. I am not a follower. I will have the praises of God in my mouth continually.
I will be a blessing to my teachers today.
And I will be a blessing to my friends.
-Priscilla Shirer prays this blessing over her boys.
“I AM one in whom Christ delights and dwells.
I live in the strong and unshakeable kingdom of God.
The kingdom is not in trouble and neither AM I.”
James Bryan Smith
the kingdom is greater than the nation …We should be lukewarm partisans at best because we are such passionate kingdom-minded people.
Lecrae on Annie F. Downs “That Sounds Fun” Podcast: Episode 252
“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.
Jesus’ words from the Gospel of John 17:20-23
Print this out. Cut it up and tape it where you can see it. Remind yourself of who you are, whose you are and the job before us all.
I wish I had two of those huge orange batons the airplane-directing people use on the tarmac waving out directions for planes.
If I had those batons (and maybe even the neon vest), I would wave my arms to get your attention to point you to the hope I’m finding.
God.
Remember Him? I seem to have forgotten God and Hope are one and the same. I untangled them and tangled myself in a mess of emotions and images instead.
To have hope I need to remember God.
Lucky for me, one of the books in my “to read” pile is coincidentally, perfectly named “Remember God.”
Those pages are orange batons, one after another, pointing to God.
The author, Annie Downs, cited a section of Paul’s letter to the Romans talking about the kind of hope I need. Maybe you do too.
“...believed, hoping against hope…He did not weaken in faith…He did not waver in unbelief at God’s promise but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God.
Romans 4:18-20
This description of Abraham’s hope feels like the hope I need right now for so many things- hoping against hope. It feels desperate and appropriate.
I needed the not so subtle reminder to remember. I love that God gets me. I don’t like reading into things. I am better with direct truth. He knows that.
Let me be direct with you.
God is very much alive and real and close.
With the dream of hope in my heart, the word hope underlined in my copy of “Remember God” and in my bible; I met with some friends. After catching up, the verse Jenna shared with us was
“As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”
Psalm 71:14
Beyond coincidence; this is God.
And God goes beyond me praying for hope, then picking up a book and reading on hope and then listening to my friend share a word on hope. I had forgotten something else about God.
God is a creative stinker.
I know I need to remember God. Right now, I’m stuck on following Hope.
There’s hard, necessary work to be done in this country. There are cures to be found. There are wounds to address and heal. I don’t have a magic wand.
I do have God.
I don’t have orange batons but I do have words.
Remember Him. Look for Him. God and Hope ARE beautifully intertwined, written throughout scripture, living deep inside you and me, and also painted on the back of little cars.
“I can’t breathe.”
“I can’t breathe.”
The Sunday just after George Floyd’s death – with the hashtag #Icantbreathe flooding social media – we sat watching our priest celebrate Pentecost on YouTube.
We listened to the story of The Valley of Dry Bones. And I started shaking my head.
It felt so weird to be listening to the Old Testament speak about breath when all I’m hearing and seeing and feeling is…
“I can’t breathe.”
So my heart is thumping now, and I don’t know what else to do with this word but share it so here it goes.
“He brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of Man, can these bones live?” I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.” Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones; I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.” So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy son of man and say to it. This is what the Sovereign Lord says, ‘Come breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’ So I prophesied as he commanded me and breath entered them, they came to life and stood up on their feet – a vast army.“
Ezekiel 37:1-11
Do you see it? Can you hear it?
We all witnessed George Floyd taking his last breath.
And God is answering with a word on breath.
What will you do with yours? What will I do with mine?
Ezekiel is looking at a valley full of bones; disgraced, unburied bones that had been dead so long they’re dry. He had to have been scared, overwhelmed, anxious – just like me watching the news these days.
But God pushes Ezekiel asking, “Can these bones live?”
Ezekiel doesn’t say no or turn away. Ezekiel turns to God. “Only you can know.”
His answer, his posture, give me direction.
“O God, you alone know.”
And as soon as Ezekiel answers, God invites him into the working of a miracle. God gives Ezekiel the words, Ezekiel does the obedient work “and breath entered them, they came to life, and stood up on their feet – a vast army.”
The crazy miracle in that story, the crazy miracle we need NOW is restoration. When God restores, he brings life, he brings things together.
We need to be patient and persistent because what we need on top of restoration is revival. And revival happens in stages; look back at the stages in Ezekiel’s story. There is work to be done.
Pray our work, our hands, our hearts, our words are inspired by the breath of God.
Here’s an activity from the first graders homework this week:
We were hunting through the house to make a list of anything we could find with the /or/ sound. It didn’t take very long to make the list.
What catches me by surprise though is how the lesson stuck.
At the end of the day, Bean just kept following the lesson, adding more and more words to the list.
Let’s follow this another direction, shall we? We’re taking a sharp turn from 1st grade phonics to your heart.
What are you following these days? Now that we’re all under “stay at home” orders with virtual learning throwing us into a literal tailspin. What and who are you following?
I ask because this pandemic – whether it’s the stillness and quiet, the uncertainty, the anxiety, the loss and loneliness – it’s going to push you to self-soothe. So what are you looking for to ease the pain, to pass the time?
I ask because of these words…
Above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are.
Proverbs 4:23 TPT
God’s words always lead back to Him. They’re powerful that way. He is powerful that way.
The problem is I don’t always follow.
I do follow a lot of people and apps and videos. All those voices can end up pushing God out of the way.
But, the practice of reading His word and looking for it, always leads me back to Him.
This week COVID-19 hit my family with some significant loss (let’s leave it at that) and I was heartbroken. We went for a walk. I got a good cry in.
And then, I sat down on my phone and scrolling through account after account, double tapping mindlessly through my grief. It did nothing.
Annoyed with myself, I went to wash the dishes.
Right in front of me, in a tiny clay pot, was this:
As soon as I spotted that itty bitty heart pushing up through the dirt, it reminded me of a God who sees me and loves me.
Did God bend that sprout into a heart shape just for me? I like to think so.
Guard the affections of your heart because they affect all that you are. There’s power in the choices you get to make, the accounts you follow. Choose wisely. I am not saying they all need to be Jesus accounts but are they making you laugh, building you up, teaching you something, encouraging you, leading you to a better you?
You – YOU – open the door from the inside. You decide who and what comes in.
Guard your precious heart.
I just don’t know what day it is anymore.
Every morning, Jason says, “This is just like Groundhogs Day.” Every morning. It will happen today. I can guarantee it. As he’s pouring his coffee into my favorite mug, he’ll shake his head side to side and say, “This is just like Groundhogs Day.”
What fun things do you look forward to every day?
When the people ask me what’s for dinner; I simply don’t know anymore. The “this is fun and different, don’t worry everything is fine” phase is uhhh over.
I’m pouting and putting ear plugs on my shopping list because I wake up to the same bird singing it’s deet-deet-deeeeet song at 4:58 every morning to start the same “This is just like Groundhogs Day” day over again.
Oh no wait, this week is different because the 3 younger ones start virtual learning.
It’s hard work being a human being right now. I don’t know what day it is. God gave me a lot of gifts but teaching is not one of them.
There are 7 humans plus a dog in this house, all the time. We’re all processing different losses at different times and grieving them very differently. That being said, last week was especially hard because the senior may actually not get a prom, the middle can’t be with her besties, the youngest loved her first Zoom call playdate but ached for her buddy, Jason was restricted to emergency patients only and I was sick.
My doctor prescribed Doxycycline and I was taking Gabapentin for my pain. Not only was I hurting and sick but getting so ticked off because usually (a word that feels heavy with golden predictability) USUALLY when I hurt, when I want peace, when I want to recharge; I go sit by the water. I love hearing it. I love feeing small near it. But the POLICE DO NOT CROSS yellow tape across each and every entry point to water was enough to break me.
AND THIS IS HOW GOD SHOWED UP ON A BLURSDAY:
Jenna and I were dm’ing on Instagram and I was telling her how sad I was about the water.
Here’s the video she sent. Listen carefully.
I never realized that before. Had you? God’s voice is the same in the water and in the wind. That’s the thing about God; always the same.
Do you read the “Streams in the Desert” devotional? If not, now is a good time to start. It’s a deep one but we’re living in a trench-like world where stats of life and death blur with images of masked faces and loneliness is a thick blanket on us all. Hold on, I need to take a deep breath.
Okay, so the “Streams in the Desert” reading for April 4 reads:
Once our eyes are opened by God, we will see all the events of our lives, whether great or small, joyful or sad, as a “chariot” for our souls. Everything that comes to us becomes a chariot the moment we treat it as such. On the other hand, even the smallest trial may become an object crushing everything in its path into misery and despair if we allow it. The difference then becomes a choice we make.
“Streams in the Desert” Hannah Whitall Smith p.142
The scripture offered at the top of the reading is from 2 Kings 6:17
This “chariot” over instagram with Jenna reinforces to me that God is still here. God is still good. God is still showing up. God is still super creative in trying to get my attention.
Knowing that God is real and good and steady and true; that helps me. Does it help you?
It’s Blursday friends. Here we go again. The coffee is brewed and about to be poured, the laptops are charged for another virtual learning session and today I’m going to keep my eyes open. I pray you keep your eyes open too and can hear/see/believe/know God is here for you whatever day it is.
The Compass post needed a follow up.
I hope you know enough about me that I didn’t want my words in that post to come across as quaint or self-assured. You know me. I’m sorry if they did. The thing is, YES, God has always been a part of my life. And, YES, I do believe that reading the Bible and praying are the spiritual COMPASS leading me through the wilderness of my life.
Even though I have the relationship with God to guide me; I can get wigged out when life gets crazy. I know and love and trust God but will white-knuckle the compass WHILE trying to follow the lead.
And that’s ok.
Here’s the other thing. I’m able to hold the metaphorical compass, to look to it, to trust it because of another survival tool – COMMUNITY.
I have an army. I don’t know why or how or why but I have an army. They are beasts. You are beasts. You all are warriors. You relentless, beautiful, faithful, loving, honest people. Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am. You, in all the ways, show me how much God loves me. I hope to do the same for you.
COMPASS + COMMUNITY
This Corona “wilderness” is unexpected, unprecedented and unnerving. Now’s the time to rely on our survival tools.
Look for God. Ask God to be your Compass. You ask. He will show. That is just how He rolls. Seek Him with your whole heart and you’ll find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).
Ask God for good people to build up your circle. Pray to be a “beast” in your community. You probably already are.
The Coronavirus is giving us all a freaky unique situation where we’re all brought to the same level, same speed, same time.
We will make it out together.
Now is the time to find your Compass – God’s just waiting for you.
Now is the time to find your Community – You are loved and so needed.
Where the heck are we right now? What is going on?
I feel a little lost in all the Coronavirus updates and state mandated restrictions and empty grocery shelves. It’s all so disorienting.
How are you?
Since you can’t be student, boss, employee, non-teacher, hostess, room-parent, coach… how are you?
It’s weird and slow.
I know. I feel it too. Right now, I want to sit next to you (virtually) and offer you a compass in the chaos.
Because I’ve been here before.
From 2016-2019, we were swirling in a medical mess and I felt lost in a sort of wilderness. Just like you now, I wasn’t able to be all the things I’d signed up for like coach, room mom, hostess, tennis player, volunteer, etc.
My calendar was wiped clean of every layer of identity I’d wrapped myself up in. They were all taken without asking my permission.
As you read this; COVID-19 has wiped your calendar clean. And you didn’t get a say. We’re back to basics with no clear path of what lies ahead. So, what next?
First, let’s get our bearings. Friends, we are IN the wilderness.
And, I can tell you from experience and from reading lots of scripture, the wilderness is where God does His thing.
This is where He works.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:19
Rachel Held Evans wrote “…some of Scripture’s most momentous events occur not at the start of a journey, nor at the destination, but in between, in the wilderness.” Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water and Loving the Bible Again
We are IN BETWEEN right now.
And God is in it with us offering “a way.” In all this uncertainty and pandemonium, why not, WHY NOT invite God into it and ask for direction.
How does this work in real life, like right now? Well, if you were lost in the literal wilderness; you would keep your eyes open for signs to point you in the right direction. Same applies to you and God in the metaphorical wilderness. Really.
Here are a few “signs” in the wilderness to point you in the right direction: Read the Jesus Calling Devotional, sign up for a reading plan on the Holy Bible App, follow Aussie Dave or Priscilla Shirer or Bianca Olthoff or Bishop Jakes on Instagram, listen to 95.1 Shine-FM, look up She Reads Truth and join the community, tune in to mass on Church of the Nativity’s website.
We’re feeling a little lost right now but we have a God who loves to show up IN the wilderness in remarkable ways. He’s full of promise and hope and relief.
Point the compass His way, ask Him for help and TAKE NOTES! {You might not be able to see God in the moment but being able to look back at what you asked for can be a powerful way to see He was working all along.}
Just yesterday, I was journaling about my worry with the news of even more closings and my anxiety over my daily routine being swallowed up with the needs of all the kids home now. The “Jesus Calling “reading for March 18 was from Matthew.
“Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.” – Matt 6:34
I’ve seen it before. I know I’ll see it again and again. You might be lost but you are not alone.
Let God be your compass in the chaos.
I’ve become a real big girl in these past few years. I mean, I am 44 years old. So, in theory, I really should behave like a strong, determined, positive, aware adult but that hasn’t been the case.
Are you all grown up and settled into your best life? Yeah, I didn’t think so. In my 44 years of well-earned wisdom, I’m here to tell you:
1. You are ok
2. Keep Going
3. There’s so much more to learn
My trigger for this random post was a #2 Ticonderoga. Lily put the freshly sharpened pencil in my face and asked, “Aren’t pointy pencils the best?” And just like that, my heart got all heavy and achey.
Remember when Joseph was sick? If you don’t, here’s the recap: For 18 months or so, Joseph was declining before our eyes. His brain was so swollen from whatever he was fighting that his eyes went crossed and stayed there. He had 11 lesions on his brain. He’d lost 14 pounds and was losing muscle tone every day. He struggled through brain fog. The swelling also gave him hypersensitivity to just about everything. My little boy was slipping away in front of us and no one knew why and no one knew what to do.
Among many visits to many doctors, there was one I looked forward to and that was our weekly check up with the ophthalmologist. Dr. Collins always offered a calm voice in the chaos of appointments and tests and diagnoses.
One visit, Dr. Collins gave us homework. A daily assignment for me and Joseph.
And I didn’t want to do it.
Her instructions were for Joseph and I to sit across from each other, knee to knee. I was to hold up a sharpened pencil right in front of his little nose and then move the pencil slowly to the left and back to center. And repeat. And repeat until his eye got tired. Then we would do the same to the right.
Try to imagine how hard it was looking at my boy back then. I would willingly sit beside him and sketch with him. I would happily make him cookies and hold him in my lap and feel him relax.
But this homework was making me do something I was avoiding; I would have to face Joseph. I would have to look him in the literal eye and face what was scaring me. And I would have to do it again and again.
And I did my homework. Every night, I faced Joseph and we did eye exercises. I looked right into his eyes that were confused and trying and saw a little boy much the same.
I learned that when those tiny, spidery vessels would show up turning his eyes red; he would want to keep pushing. So, I learned to hold back my tears and push him to keep going. I fought with God in my head, “Why is this happening? What is even happening?” I learned how determined Joseph is. I learned I could face the hard stuff.
Only God could use a daily eye exercise to train up my heart.
What little thing could you start doing today to train your heart?
If I can do it, you can do it. Face the hard thing – with a friend, in prayer, through therapy – Face the hard thing.
Start small.
Maybe screenshot this verse from 2 Timothy 1:7 and repeat it every day.
Mighty. Power. Love. Self-Control.
God made you stronger than you know.
Remind me of this when I’m wimping out later today💗
how the light gets in 