Prepare, Peace, Promise, Relationship – these are the stand out words from our first few days of Advent together.
And for today, God strings the words together while weaving in a new one; LAUGHTER.
Not expecting that were you? LAUGH. One of God’s hope for you is that you would laugh again.
In a world with so much hurt it is easy to wonder if God sees or even cares.
In today’s reading, Abraham and Sarah lived their lives in faith but Hope was fading. All Sarah wanted was a baby. As the story goes, the woman was around 90 years old when God told Abraham (her even older husband) she would have a baby. Her reaction? She laughed a snarky laugh.
Sarah LAUGHED at God.
People, can we appreciate that the author of life itself would allow the detail that one of his main characters in the beginning of humanity laughed at Him!?! Sarah and God had enough of a relationship that God called her out.
“Then the Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say,Will I really have a child now that I am old? Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time..” – Genesis 18:13-14
By this time, She was AFRAID and then chose tooooooo… say sorry? Nope, Sarah LIED! Look up Genesis 18:15. It cracks me up.
And God kept his promise.
Genesis 21:1 “…the Lord did for Sarah what he promised.”
Do you know what Sarah named her baby boy? Isaac. Isaac means “he will laugh, he will rejoice.”
Genesis 21:6
God’s timing, His appointed time, may not line up with ours. And that stings.
I have prayed for a lot of things in my life. Recently, I prayed for something big. I still don’t have the words to do the story justice. But in the meantime, here’s a picture of laughter.
Is anything to big for God? Nope. Keep praying. Keep talking to God, asking and trusting that His time must be the right time.
“The Jesus Storybook Bible” pulls you in close, gets you comfy and seems to hum the song God wants to sing just for you.
Doesn’t matter how old you are, if you have kids or not; this book, the way it retells stories like today’s “A New Beginning: Noah & The Ark” feels fresh.
This is what I mean.
Old school Noah – Noah built the ark, filled the ark with animals two by two and everyone was saved. The end.
I’m exaggerating but trying to make the point. Ready? Here comes the storybook version.
Noah’s friends laughed at him, isolated him; showing us that being faithful to God does not mean a carefree life. That’s important to know. We tend to write God off when things get hard like He’s forgotten us. But life can just be hard. Period.
Here’s the difference: This version of the story illustrates how Noah lives his life WITH God – asking Him, complaining to Him, thanking Him, doubting Him, but sticking by Him – a true relationship.
The storybook tale also presents God as a God of promise and faithfulness and partnership and love.
Noah stands by his God and God stands by his word.
God’s Promise – a bow made of Light
If you go to the authors website, you can sign up for a reading plan through “The Storybook Bible” all the way to Christmas. Here’s the link: https://www.sallylloyd-jones.com
I’ll leave you with this excerpt. Say it out loud for yourself, for your kids, your grandkids; it is true for us all:
“No matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children – with a Never Stopping, Never Giving up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.”
The Jesus Storybook Bible p36
If we’re taking one step at a time, I just got a little extra pep in my step from this one. Day 4! We did it!
Today we’re looking at the “Jesus Calling” Devotional. This little book has you set up day by day. So good, right?
First step is look up the day you need.
Before you start reading, imagine Jesus is the one speaking to you. That’s how the author has written it. Then look up the verses listed at the bottom of the page, open your bible and read God’s words for you.
So for example, one reading today is from Isaiah 9:6. You can always google it.
Or, if you have an actual bible, find the name Isaiah, then flip to chapter 9 and skim down to verse 6.
Let me just show you.
John 20:19-21
After I read, I like to write the verse down in all caps, sit with it a few moments, then write a thought or idea from it. You can underline in your bible. It is okie dokie.
So this verse from John, I notice Jesus offers his friends PEACE in the midst of their fear. And while they were “overjoyed,” Jesus’ message is still PEACE. Did you notice that?
Grab a notebook or a stack of Post It notes! Oh, and grab a pen too. I want to try something together.
Today is Day 1 of Advent. Advent is the season of four Sunday’s leading up to Jesus’ birth. Advent means “the arrival of a notable person.” In my faith, that notable person is Jesus. Advent is a season can feel like a build up for the senses – lights are twinkling, cider is simmering, cold is settling in, familiar tunes are playing, anxiety rising (?).
There’s anticipation in the air. Do you feel it? Maybe you don’t. Why don’t we work at building up our Faith together this year?
God tells us the best way to build up our Faith is one step at a time.
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”
It feels like the right pace this time of year while everything else is a tornado of parties, shopping lists and family expectations – one step at a time.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet...” if you think about it, a lamp doesn’t light up a whole path; just your next step. So, one step at a time, one day at a time – that’s where DEVOTIONALS come in. Have you ever tried one?
A devotional usually offers a scripture with a brief explanation, just enough to light your next step. I went through my emails, instagram account, books around the house and put together a list of devotionals we can try. These always start with God’s word and then offer a paragraph or artwork to accompany it.
Compiling the list just proves that God will stop at nothing to get your attention. So, here’s what we do:
Read the Bible verse from the devotional
Write the verse on your paper in all caps
Read the paragraph
Write down a thought, question, idea that comes from the verse
At the end of this, we’ll have 24 different ways to “hear” God’s voice.
Day 1 comes from the Holy Bible App. Just a verse. Nothing more.
I’m not a Biblical Scholar or a God expert. Period.
Now that that’s clear, can we take a look at the burning bush story in Exodus? God is trying to get Moses’ attention. So, he lights a bush on fire. Wouldn’t have been my first attention-grabbing choice. And, I’m not God.
The burning bush is not burning up; intrigued Moses moves closer. God then says,
‘Moses, Moses! Do not draw near this place. Take your sandals off your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.”
Exodus 3:5
Holy Ground.
What if God is asking Moses to take off his sandals so he can stand firm and connected to the holy ground. Slide your feet out of your shoes now. Wriggle your toes a bit. Tell God thanks for where you are right this moment. This moment, wherever you are, because you invite God in – I believe (again not a theologian) but I believe you are on Holy Ground.
Looking for Joy, Hoping for Miracles – it can be exhausting and feel small minded. I hope that doesn’t come across as offensive or sacrilegious. I’m just so convinced that God is bigger than what we imagine. God is more creative and hope-giving than we give Him credit for, and that God loves us more than we can grasp… so why not realize where you are, with whom you are speaking and take off your dang shoes.
Holy doesn’t just happen for saints or in a church either. It doesn’t. I believe Holy happens in…
Random coincidences: when you bump into a friend while on a walk. And walking – WALKING – is hard for both of you today, but you are both out and both just need encouragement and are there to high five each other at just the right moment.
In the quiet: journaling at home with the most sacred of stained glass windows to look through (courtesy of the cutest 6 year old).
Nature: when the “burning bush” is a row of trees ablaze in yellow and you stop to take it in.
In God’s word: spending time to get to know His voice, learn His attention to detail, and appreciate His character.
Holy, holy NO!!! a sink full of dishes is not holy. Sorry.
A few weeks ago, I got a call-back for my mammogram. The doctor found something and wanted a second look. That’s never encouraging. So, I invited God into my freak out session so I wouldn’t drown. I went for the second mammogram. They called me back, yet again, for an ultrasound.
Sitting in that robe, waiting for the doctors results; I said out loud, “Hey God, we’re good right? No matter what happens next. We are good.”
And then this popped up on the computer screen:
That dimly lit ultrasound room of the Cancer Institute all at once felt holy. Coincidence, crazy, Alexa… I call it God.
I call it God seeing his Andrea being dramatic and scared and needing a clear reminder of Him in her life. Holy, holy, holy.
I took a deep breath and exhaled calmly knowing no matter what God would be with me. I was also smiling because MAN does God get me! To experience peace knowing a huge, ancient God is alive enough and close enough to see me and answer me (literally) felt sacred and holy. (Scans came back good.)
God starts His book with a sweet Post It note, “I am with you and will watch over you where you go.” Genesis 28:15. I have felt it.
Smack dab in the middle of the Bible, Isaiah says, “Holy Holy Holy is the Lord.. the whole earth is full of His glory!” (6:3) I have seen it.
Then there’s Jesus! Jesus is a living example of how to love, serve, grieve, celebrate WITH God the Father. I have read it.
All this and I still don’t do it right. And still, God loves me and shows up in ways to make me shake my head in awe.
Holy sounds and feels and looks rich with reverence and full of awareness. And that has everything to do with God. When you invite God in you are allowing His presence to make that moment holy. Sooooo…. what are you waiting for? What am I waiting for?
Should we take off our shoes?
Let’s invite God in and then look, listen, wait – let it be holy.
Where is that manual – The one on raising kids? Do you have one I could borrow? My baby is somehow 5’9″ and 17 years old or something. And I feel like she’s supposed to know so much more before I just let her go. This can’t be right.
Lauren is a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL which means COLLEGE is ELEVEN MONTHS away! The all caps are meant to convey my fear/excitement/disbelief. Did you catch that?
I have been so looking forward to this launch for her. 100%. I’ve been so confident. But my knees are buckling just a little now and my heart is being squeezed.
It’s crunch time here. I’m scrambling for all the tips, lessons, values I feel I should have already taught my girl before she goes into the world. I’m not ready.
Is she?
Instead of confidence, my brain is glitching in pop-up mode flashing pictures from 2002 when it was just Lauren or 2005 when she was in the Princess stage. I can’t disable this as easily as I’d like.
On top of my mental malfunction, have you heard the Michael Bublé song “Forever Now”? It is perfect and beautiful and torturous all at the same time.
Among many lessons, parenting has taught me that holding two emotions at the same time is not only ok but maybe even necessary. In other words, it’s ok to be excited and sad at the same time about Lauren going AWAY. Maybe I can use these next few months to remind us both of that.
Funnily enough, from where I’m sitting, I can see a sign I painted years ago. The kids always bug me to tell them which arrow they are but it’s my secret to hold.
Psalm 127:3-5 says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth."
Okay, okay… Scripture is doing for me what only the word of God can do; quiet the brain noise.
I painted the the sign on purpose to remind myself that my children are arrows. Arrows aren’t meant to be kept. And I, Jason, WE are the warriors. It’s our job, as parents, to pull the arrow out, carefully aiming her in the right direction, pulling back and then letting her go.
Well, now I’m crying. And I’m good with crying because they’re happy tears, proud tears, excited tears, and sad tears.
I’m a wobbly warrior who cries, doesn’t always get it right, loves fiercely and dang it I am excited to see my first arrow fly.
P.S. Lauren, if you’re reading, I’m sorry if I get crappy sometimes over these next few months. Being a mom is hard. Loving you is easy. Trust you know where to aim. Keep your eyes wide open, your heart too. Know Daddy and I are always here for you.
Do you remember those clunky projectors from elementary school? The big, gray, crane-necked machines sitting squat in the center of the classroom. Mrs. Hostetler would lay a transparency sheet on the glowing machine and the lesson would begin.
If needed, she’d add another transparency sheet on top of the first to build on the original lesson.
I feel like our miracle story has another transparency sheet or two you need to know about.
Transparency #1 (which you know from the previous post): Late August 2016, Joseph was in the hospital, sick and visiting with various specialists.
Lay on Transparency #2: Joseph was released from the hospital on August 26th. Just a few days later, I was admitted for my surgery.
Yes, I was in the midst of my own medical chaos.
Yes, our medical messes were overlapping. And to be clear, it was bad.
While Joseph was suffering with a swollen brain, crossed eyes and visiting with Infectious Disease, Neurology and Ophthalmology docs; I would be going through 5 surgeries in 10 months leaving me with 13 scars and one major complication – all at the same time.
Joseph’s story had a beautiful miraculous healing – an unexplainable gift. My story continues with pain. But just because I don’t have a spontaneous recovery doesn’t mean I don’t have miracles too; they’re just different.
The miracle of Loaves and Fishes tells us about a crowd of thousands smooshed in on a hill to be near Jesus. They didn’t want to leave his side but they were also hungry. While the (sometimes doubtful/snarky/forgetful/sounds like Andrea) Disciples suggested they send the crowd away; Jesus said you will feed them.
Let’s add on one more Transparency sheet, shall we?
Jesus says, bring it here to me… Bring me your shred of self-love, your glimmer of hope, your maybe of trust. Just bring it.
1. Jesus looks at what they have right in that moment.
2. He looks up to heaven and says Thank You.
3. He Shares it.
With just 5 loaves and 2 fish, Jesus multiplies what the disciples bring him to feed thousands (with leftovers).
So subtle, so powerful, so Jesus – he models simple steps towards our own miracles.
I don’t have complete healing. In fact, today I hurt. I’m sad remembering the fear and pain of going into that surgery In 2016. I didn’t want to go. I still sometimes even get mad that I went ahead with it and the one after that and the one after that.
Right now, I’m bringing what I got.
I lay down throbbing hurt and frustration. Here it is Jesus. I look up and say Thank You for a beautiful day, with my family, giving the beach one last go before school starts. I hit “publish” and share this story with you. Now we watch the miraculous beauty of gratitude or hope or love or all of the above multiply, together. 💗 And that is how the light gets in.
His fever was at 104 for 3 days straight. His cough had gotten worse. But when Joseph looked up at me and his eyes were crossed; we went to the ER. Joseph (then 7 years old) would stay in the hospital for a week and then leave with a tube coming out of his chest and a battle ahead. The next 365 days we spent traveling up and down Charles Street for medical appointments – Spinal taps, MRI’s, MRA, MRV, bloodwork, Ophthalmology visits… His brain was swollen, messing up his cranial nerve and crossing his eyes. His white blood cell count was through the roof. He’d lost 14 pounds, was working through brain fog and we kept going. An MRI revealed Joseph had 11 lesions on his brain. My boys brain was presented during Grand Rounds in neurology and they “couldn’t figure him out.” That’s when we switched to The Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia (CHOP).
August 2017
Pediatric MS or Spinal Cord Cancer. That’s what Jason and I were told. “Joseph either has Pediatric MS or a sneaky Spinal Cord Cancer. We’ve ordered a spinal tap, MRI and bloodwork to confirm and we’ll move forward from there. We’ll be in touch with the results.”
Let’s take a breath from the story for a moment and jump to present time. The message series at Church right now is “Ordinary Everyday Miracles.”
August marks the beginning of our own Miracle. And if I didn’t write about it, well, I wouldn’t be me and you wouldn’t know about it. The alignment of this series at Church plus the anniversary of our miracle is enough prompting for me to start typing.
Okay, here’s the overview Father White gave us and I love it. Looking at these 3 miracles, we see a progression for the Apostles (Jesus’ closest friends). At first, they get to witness a miracle. Then, in the Calming of the Sea, they are in the midst of the miracle. Next, the Apostles get to participate in the miracle of feeding thousands of people off 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.
Hearing all the different ways the Apostles had access to MIRACLES that happened right in front of them, for them, by them was beautiful because Jesus is offering so many ways to see him.
Reading all the different ways the Apostles reacted TO miracles with Jesus RIGHT NEXT TO THEM gives me hope. Matthew 14 verse 15 says they were irritated, verse 26 says they were terrified and didn’t recognize. In Luke 8 verse 24, they were freaking out, forgetting Jesus was with them. In Luke 9 verse 13, the Apostles were straight up sarcastic.
I don’t know where you stand with God or miracles. But, the fact that the Apostles fear and sarcasm and forgetfulness is written in the Bible reads like gracious encouragement from a big God. Doesn’t it? It’s as if God is saying, “Look, these ding dongs were right next to my Son and still didn’t get it. And they still freaked out. It’s ok. You will too. And, I love you.”
Our Miracle
Back to the story of our miracle… Terrified? Sarcastic? Freaking out? All of it. We were promised test results and an action plan in 2 days. But instead of 48 hours, we waited 2 weeks.
The doctor called to say, “Mrs. Smithberger, I apologize for the delay but we just had to make sure. There’s no medical explanation for this but Joseph doesn’t have anything. The 11 lesions, gone. His white blood cell count, normal. The swelling on his brain, gone. Even the marker for Lymes, gone. I had to go to hematology, oncology, ophthalmology, neurology to verify. There is no medical explanation for this.”
This ding dong was crying.
There is no medical explanation for our miracle. I still poke Joseph from time to time. I don’t want to forget.
Courtesy: Jenna Mace Photography
The gift of being in and going through something hard can be that you develop a new way to see things. Looking back and writing, for me, keeps my eyes open as I move forward.
Don’t miss your miracles.
You’re a ding dong too and God will stop at nothing to get your attention. And if you get freaked out, scared, doubtful – keep looking. You might be witnessing, in the midst of or participating in a miracle of your own. Look back, look ahead – God is there.
I’m writing this while on vacation. That being said, you might assume The “R” Cycle refers to things like rest, recharge, relax. Ummmmm no.
My saint of a husband just drove off with all 5 of our children to an ARCADE. Bless that beautiful man.
So, here I am alone. And, I’m realizing I need a vacation from this vacation. I don’t like them right now. I birthed those children and I don’t like them. I love them but I do not like them.
There is just a whole lot of quality time happening around here. We keep bumping into each other. And, they keep finding me (because maybe I’ve taken to hiding) to tell me how someone is breathing on them, chewing too loudly or pushing them.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stretched my hands out, shoulders shrugged up to my ears, “But look,” I say, “We’re at the beach. Everyone is happy at the beach.”
“There are so many of you!” I keep insisting like maybe it will click one of these times…”You have built in friends!”
The beach IS my happy place though. And these people WILL make happy memories together. So, I’m going to lean hard onto The “R” Cycle to get us through.
Rupture
Repair
Repeat
The first “R” is for Rupture: to breach or disturb a harmonious feeling or sensation.
Okay, it’s much too luxurious a word for the crap show that a rupture feels like but this is called alliteration. So we’re going with it.
Every family, every human relationship hits a “rupture” point. Fair? Some may even hit a few disturbances a day. Normal. The shift between seasons, especially into summer, can be challenging. I just wasn’t expecting the multitude of disturbances in a place as harmonious as the flipping beach. Grrrrrrrrrrrupture.
The second “R” refers to Repair. How am I going to repair the rupture: Listening to the issue without tapping my foot in irritation? Starting my peace treaty proposal minus the eye roll? These are good starts.
Here’s the golden nugget…
It’s not about the Rupture, it’s all about how you Repair.
I can’t take credit for that bit of wisdom. My therapist says it to me a lot.
The repair is the care, the tone, the time I can take to fix the fight. It’s the words minus the sarcasm and loaded with grace I can choose to tie the loose ends.
I’m beyond the “you only have so many summers before they’re gone” sap. But I am fully aware that I have them here now. I am fully aware that we are going to rupture and dang it I am determined to repair well.
And, as if on cue… Jason just walked in with the crew singing “Reunited and it feels so good.”
how the light gets in 