how the light gets in

by Andrea Smithberger
how the light gets in
  • November 1: Honoring
  • Day 2: Signaling
  • Day 3: Revealing
  • DAY 4: Reminding
  • Day 5: Reflecting
  • Day 6: Changing
  • Day 7: Surrounding
  • Day 8: Healing
  • Day 9: Filtering
  • Day 10: Spreading
  • Day 11: Unveiling
  • Day 12: Distinguishing
  • Day 13: Challenging
  • Day 14: Nourishing
  • Day 15: Unassuming
  • Day 16: Leading
  • Day 17: Delighting
  • Day 18: Reaching
  • Day 19: Shining
  • Day 20: Reviving
  • Day 21: Growing
  • Day 22: Comforting
  • Day 23: Holding Space
  • Day 24: Beckoning
  • Day 25: Stunning
  • Day 26: Igniting
  • Day 28: Introducing
  • November 2020
  • Tag: Journal

    • CHRISTMAS – Day 25

      Posted at 2:09 pm by How the Light Gets In, on December 25, 2019

      Merry Christmas

      You did it. WE did it! Hooray for us! 24 days of reading God’s word. 24 days of devoting a little time to learning God’s voice. I’m so proud of you and me!

      Take a moment to scroll all the way back to Day One. Grab a piece of paper and a pencil and jot down the websites, books, Instagram accounts, Music, Photography, Email subscriptions, Apps, Artists, Podcasts, Places, People, Recipes.

      Then, take note of what struck you most – was it the beauty, the pain, the encouragement, the community?

      Finally, we should list all the scripture from the posts. The Bible still blows my mind with all those words written so long ago and somehow still very alive and so powerful.

      You know what ALLLLL this tells me?

      GOD

      WILL

      STOP

      AT

      NOTHING.

      God will stop at nothing to get YOUR attention.

      These 24 days have just been a glimpse of how relentless God is trying to grab your attention.

      Christmas gives us the sweetest example of this. Immanuel is God with us.

      Jesus IS God with us.

      But wait, the story doesn’t end here. There’s Good News! Jesus wasn’t just born, end of story. Jesus lived a life full of friendship and story telling and healing and teaching and loving. There’s more to learn. Jesus didn’t just live for you and me. He also died for you and me.

      Today we celebrate His birth but there’s so much more.

      And hey, if you’re reading this you’re alive too which means God’s not done with you. Your story with Him might just be beginning. Or maybe you go way back. Either way, keep walking with Jesus. Read His Word. Learn His voice. Look for Him.

      Remember how we started this journey with Gods word as a “lamp for our feet”? Today let’s celebrate because the light is here. Jesus – God with us – is here “to guide our feet into the path of peace.” (Luke 1:79)

      Thank you for being with me this Advent. You have made it so special for me.

      One last song Reckless Love

      Posted in DECEMBER 2019 | 0 Comments | Tagged 1 John 1:5, 1 John 1:5-7, 1 John 5:14, 1 Peter 2:9, 1 Peter 5:6, 100 Days to Brave, 2 Corinthians 1:6-7, 2 Kings 20, Acts 2:28, Advent, Ann Voskamp, Annie F Downs, Christmas, Church of the Nativity, Colossians 1:9-10, Cory Asbury, Elevation Worship, Ephesians 5:13, Exodus 33:14, Genesis 28:15, Hooray, How the Light Gets In, Isaiah 40:3-5, Isaiah 43:18-19, Jenna Mace Photography, Jesus, Jesus Calling, Job 42:5, John 11:38, Joshua 1:9, Journal, Luke 1:3-4, Luke 1:79, Matthew 14:13-21, Matthew 28:66, Psalm 119:105, Psalm 16:11, Psalm 27:14, Romans 15:13, Romans 15:4-5, Wonder, Zephaniah 3:17
    • Waiting Rooms

      Posted at 12:51 pm by How the Light Gets In, on December 24, 2017

      If there was a vote for worst room in a hospital, every time I say it’s the “Waiting Room.”  Waiting is the worst. This time last year, ugh.  This time last year, we had finally gotten into Hopkins, visited with several specialists, had several tests done; all to wait and wait and WAIT.  This December is different.

      I don’t know how I got to be so lucky… to be able to look back while my completely healthy boy sits at my side; but here we are.  I still pinch myself. And Joseph.  With such a miraculous gift of healing I love looking back to see how to keep moving forward.

      A devotional I’ve been reading, launched my perspective for this post.  I’m on Day 55 of “100 Days to Brave.”  {sidetone: if you don’t know Annie F Downs or her writing, do yourself a favor a pick up one of her books or the devotional!} The title for today is “in the waiting season.”  Again, the wait.  The scripture at the top of the reading says,

      “Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”  

      Psalm 27:14

      David used his writing to encourage you in the wait.  I like that the Bible acknowledges that life is not easy, that waiting is hard.  It makes me feel better that the stars of the Bible had it rough too.  Is that selfish?  Anyways, David’s words are everything; especially if you are waiting.  Be strong, he says.  Let your heart take courage.  Don’t fill your thoughts with deadlines and timelines.  Don’t set your hopes or next move on the “perfect moment” or the right doctor or next month.  Let your heart take courage.  Let it be brave.

      Jesus.  Reading my journal from last year, I see how hard the wait was but how Jesus kept showing up in the wait in so many beautiful and knowing ways.  There is so much comfort in handing over the pain of the unknown, the wait to Jesus.  It might sound weird, but what else have you got while you wait?  Really.  What do you have that’s better; working off the anxiety at the gym, drinking away your worry, hiding from friends, drowning in social events?  I see you.  I am you.  We are all human.  The wait is hard for us all.  And I am telling you, holding your hand and telling you; God has you.  Whatever it is your waiting for; can you invite Jesus into the wait with you?

      The season of Advent is all about the wait. Let your heart take courage. Breathe in deep peace.  Waiting is hard.

      Lucky for you, for me, for all of us; the wait is over.  Jesus is born this night.  Invite him in.

      Merry Christmas.

      Posted in DECEMBER 2017 | 2 Comments | Tagged 100 Days to Brave, Advent, Annie F Downs, Courage, How the Light Gets In, Journal, Psalm 27:14, waiting room
    • Looking Back and Seeing…

      Posted at 5:01 pm by How the Light Gets In, on August 13, 2017

      We’re coming up on a year.  One FULL year.  I was looking for a picture on my phone and ended up at a group of pics from August 2016 that made me swallow hard.  Joseph hooked up to lines and monitors.  Joseph slumped over, skinny and pale.  Joseph leaving the hospital with a line in his chest and his eyes crossed from the swelling on his brain.   Just like that, those pictures took me right back to some dark days.   So, I switched over to Jason’s phone hoping to find the one picture from our beach trip last year.  Instead, ugh.  I found pictures of my family I didn’t remember.  Pictures I had never seen because I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t there for Lauren’s Gateway Ceremony.  I wasn’t there for Joseph’s impromptu birthday “party” to go apple picking with his best buddy Ryan.  I wasn’t there at the park.  I don’t remember because I was in and out of surgeries myself.  And then, I was so doped up on pain medications that I was asleep or dazed on the couch.

      Looking back makes me cry.  Makes me so sad.  So, I started asking God for how to work through looking back.  “Guide me on HOW to look back, Father because there’s a lot of bitterness and anger and dark wanting to take over right now.”  He answered.  I feel like when you lay it out, plain and simple.  God gives it right back the same way.  You see, later that day, I went to my eye doctor for a contact lens fitting and as I was checking out I heard a voice behind me.  Nope, not a James Earl Jones God voice… I heard Karen’s voice.  Karen was Joseph’s home care nurse.  She taught me how to give Joseph his daily infusions and she would change his dressing weekly.  I hadn’t seen her in months!  Karen is a living breathing reminder of Joseph’s medical journey.  For HER to be at the office and then sit down with me on a bench in front of Giant and ENCOURAGE ME to keep advocating, and APPLAUD ME for getting my boy into CHOP, and REMIND ME that Joseph is a tough little booger.  Turns out sometimes, God can look and sound like Karen.

      The Gospel from mass this morning is from Matthew 14, you know this one.  The Disciples were out at sea when a bad storm came up and Jesus walked on water out to them.  Yeah, I’ve heard this a million times before, Andrea.  HEAR IT AGAIN, Jesus walked on water.  Father White pointed out not that Jesus walked on water BUT that Jesus did the unexpected.  His friends were calling out to him and he showed up.  Call out to God and let Him surprise you.  I asked God for help navigating hard memories and He gave me someone who saw us at and through our ugliest, Karen.

      I ran home to pull out my journals from last year.   I wish I could post pictures of every page.  Because EVERY. SINGLE. PAGE. is God walking out to meet me.   Criste stuffing our pantry and TWO fridges full of food is Jesus walking out to me.  Keyne, Nicka, Jenna and Criste sitting out in a waiting room for hours is God sticking close to me.  Mary cleaning up the raw chicken mess and just being Mary is God’s defiant love for me.  Mrs Certeza, Mrs Reuter, Mrs Lebowitz, Mrs Nossel, Mrs Matthews creating a circle of compassion and patience for Joseph at school is God protecting my boy.  Laura and Christa showing up to clean my house while I tell drugged up, wacky, nonsense stories is God showing His sense of humor.   The pizza, fried chicken, tortilla soup, lasagna (Bethany, that my family still raves about), CHICKEN POT PIE, Chicken a la King (that I still have the handwritten directions for Janine), yummy onion potatoes, chili, grilled chicken and orzo, SPECTACULAR breakfast surprises; YES, God saying, “I see how you roll, Smithbergers.  You eat a lot.  I will send you a lot.” Beth organizing it all and encouraging through it all is God’s friendship; blue eyed and beautiful.  Taylor.  There are not enough words for how Jesus shines through her.  Angie, someone I never see, but she sees me and reflects Him.  Annette, that God would know me so well He would gift me a soul sister decades ago shows his all-knowing awesomeness.  Colleen is Godly beauty and just a really cool chick.  Running into Carey or Dana at Target and just laughing shows Jesus likes Target too.  Meredith, “deep calls to deep,” offers me wisdom no else can know unless you’ve watched your child go through the hard.  Johnny Kelly, evidence of God’s attention to detail and love for the Buckeyes (hee, hee).  My sisters… evidence of God’s artistry in weaving them into my life to save me my whole life.  I’ll never forget being in the ER, hooked up to morphine, and Pop Pop sitting faithfully by my side telling me stories – his loyalty to family is a beautiful reflection of God’s love.  Mike and Jill, continually reaching out to me to offer encouragement all while fighting their own battle, is Jesus selflessness.  My husband, working full time, taking care of me and Joseph, watching our pain, running the other 4 kids to whatever they had going on, being BOTH parents, his devotion and energy are His grace.

      Those are the real life examples of God meeting me.  But the journals are also filled with His word, scriptures speaking straight to my heart. “I am with you and will watch you wherever you go.” -Genesis 28:15 or “Remain in me and I will remain in you.” – John 15:4 and “May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with Hope by the Power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13 and Deuteronomy 3:16 “Be Strong and Courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes WITH you, He will never leave you…”

      Joseph is now scheduled for another spinal tap, MRI and some bloodwork on August 28th.  365+ days later, still looking for a diagnosis and treatment.  Do I wish Joseph was cured by now?  And that my pain would disappear?  Yes.  Looking back, would I change anything?   Let’s say I wouldn’t plan it the way it happened.  Being honest.  But I wouldn’t change the past year.  Looking back, yes, I will feel the painful memories.  The pain is purposeful.  But, I won’t let it linger.  We have learned too much.  We have been loved so much.  I have been surprised by how God shows up.  And the “unexpected” is worth it all.  God is real.

      Amen.

      Posted in AUGUST 2017 | 2 Comments | Tagged CHOP, Deuteronomy 3:16, Genesis 28:15, How the Light Gets In, John 15:4, Journal, looking back, Matthew 14, MRI, Romans 15:13, Spinal Tap
    • How I Got Here

      Posted at 1:44 am by How the Light Gets In, on August 4, 2017

      Oreos and Jesus.  Seriously?  That was the best I had.  I have been wanting to start a blog for a while but the NAME?!?!?!!?  Sooooooo hard.  And, I really do love Oreos and Jesus.  A lot.

      But, I love the light.  Love looking for it.  Love seeing the light in other people’s stories.  And this past year, HOPING to see it had become a solid challenge.  So, when I started brainstorming a name for this blog; the LIGHT had to be part of it.  And the hard had to be part of it.  “How the Light Gets In” made my heart thump.  The hard stuff these past months, days even, have broken my heart a little.  Life does that.  But God keeps shining through.

      Back to the title… Journaling the next morning, I scribbled out all my doubts and questions and a very direct request that if Jesus wants me writing my story with His words; that HE NEEDS TO BE SUPER CLOSE ALL THE TIME.  Typing that out shows me that I have bossy-pants issues with God even.  Lord, help me.

      Usually, after writing out my thanks and my requests and my worries, I pray.  Specifically, I read two devotionals along with the scriptures they suggest and sit with them a little.  And the “Jesus Calling” for that morning offered a few verses to nudge me to the keyboard this morning.

      John 8:12 defines the LIGHT as “Jesus…the light of the world.”  Then, in Matthew 5:16, Jesus says, “Let your light shine before others.”  Are you with me here?  And then, to kick my nagging self-doubt in the booty; Moses (in Exodus 3:11) whines a lot like I’ve been and God answers, “I will be with you.”

      So here we are.

      Be a light, reflect the light, go and find the light.   If it feels too dark for you to even want to look; LOOK.

      Today is my birthday!!! I am in a good deal of pain, Joseph’s MRI, spinal tap and double eye surgery are around the corner with who knows what to follow, PLUS I have to fill out medical forms for all five kids –  not going to let the big or the little stuff poopoo my day.. I plan on soaking up sunshine, eating Oreos and thanking Jesus.

      Posted in AUGUST 2017 | 0 Comments | Tagged Exodus 3:11, How the Light Gets In, Jesus, John 8:12, Journal, Light, Oreos, Pain

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